The Might of the Church

I am sitting in a small but crowded room (looks a bit like the music room in my last dream). It is a church group. There are lots of chairs and I can see a podium. The seat next to me is empty, but the rows in front and behind me are full (I am sitting in the same place I sat the first time I went to the spiritualist church in Huntingdon). A woman comes a sits by me, she’s not very friendly. She is middle aged, short, wavy dark blond hair. She is wearing a long skirt and a black cardigan. She tells me it is my turn to do a reading. I say no way, no one told me I would have to do a reading. She tells me they’re all waiting. I ask her what the reading is. She says it is something out of John’s gospel. I’m trying to figure out how long it is, I don’t think it is very long, so I say okay. (Think I should have stuck to my guns there). I don’t actually do the reading, (maybe this part was a test to see how I would react to being asked to do something I don’t want to).

I am writing something for a competition. They take just a hundred words form what I’ve written and that’s what they base their decision on. I think I am in my Nan’s old house in Webster close. I can see myself at the table by the patio windows at the end of the lounge. My Mum and L. are there, they don’t like the words I am using. I am using long words and they want me to use short words. I have to do this work before they will let me go somewhere.

I see myself and another woman wrapped up warm in waterproof jackets. I think I might be in a Range Rover. Or in some sort of cabin. I think it is on my parents drive. I have to stay here till get it right. (Don’t know what I have to get - to follow what I want to do not what others want me to do? Which is what the rest of the dream seems to be focused on).

No One's Listening

Inside the house I am telling my family that I don’t want to come for Christmas. My Dad won’t take me seriously. He is patronising me and saying of course I will. I am stomping around in a white T-shirt (I have just got out of bed) trying to show them I’m angry and that they should take me seriously. My Dad tells me I have to start behaving (social etiquette and duty are more important to my dad than personal feelings). My Mum is there but she isn’t saying anything. My Dad is saying that I am just saying these things so I can get to see a psychiatrist. I am getting more upset because no one is listening to me.

We are in a shoe shop. My Dad is buying my brother C. some shoes. I think he is getting us all some shoes. These shoes my brother is trying on look like school shoes, they don’t look very grown up, they are black leather, and they have a luminous green catch on the front instead of laces. My Dad is telling my brother he has to be careful about what he says later. They still think I’m going.

Shady Dealings

Me and my sis L. are standing by the side of a house about to enter the back garden. I see a bird on a bush. It’s feathers are green and yellow and shiny. It has a polka dot pattern on it’s chest (my sister loved polka dots when she was a teenager). It is singing, I point it out to her but she says she can’t see it. It hops, closer, then it comes closer still and lands on my arm. She sees it then, but gives it a ‘death’ stare and it literally drops dead. I see the bush it was sitting in move, as if there is an animal inside it something is thrown out of the bush toward me. I catch it. It is prickly - I see it is a baby hedgehog. It is dead though. I check it over to see what happened. I look into one of it’s eyes, which is cloudy. I think it must have been blind. I spot a tiny round pellet just above its eye and I think this must have killed it.

In the back garden there are some fir trees which we go and stand under. She is holding this shopping list, and having a go at me about it. But she thinks it is a speech, she says I can’t go round saying these things. She keeps looking behind her. I think she has bought me here so no one will hear her have a go at me. She wants to tell me what I should say. She is telling me also that I have to go to this thing I don’t want to, that I have to do what they want.

Violins and vegetables

I am in a car with my family. We are driving up a residential street which is on a hill. We park on the side of the road. I want to go into a white building I can see. I see a girl coming up the street, she is young with dark hair. She goes into the building. I follow her. There are other girls there. The room we are standing in is small, there are some desks and some chairs. A girl in black next to me tells this other girl is going to have a violin lesson.

Outside a man in a white car, with black curly hair parks behind us. My Dad goes over to talk to him. The man gives him something - lots of vegetables. He comes back and tells me this man is my aunts brother, that there is a rift between them and they haven’t spoken for many years. He wants us to help heal the rift. I don’t like the vegetables he’s brought, cauliflower? I think great, now I’ve got to eat all these.

Supermarket Dash

I am in a supermarket. I think I have come with my mum, I see her holding a basket and carrying a list, it looks like a receipt but she hasn’t got to the checkout yet. This list has something to do with a speech I must make. But there is a problem, they don’t like what I want to say.

I am having a group meeting with some people. We are seated in a circle in the middle of one of the aisles. There is a black guy sitting next to me, he is wearing jeans and a checked red shirt, he is sitting with his legs and arms crossed looking very thoughtful but not saying much.

I walk all the way down to the last checkout, but they won’t put the stuff through the till for me either, something to do with this speech. I come back and go to the till with my mum. I know the man at the checkout, I’m a bit scared of him. He says hello to me; I say hello back. I know I should have said hello, but something about this guy makes me uneasy. I didn’t expect him to be there.