Boating Holiday

I have gone on holiday. I am staying with a couple, there is also a group of young people I am with. They have a boat. I am walking along some decking with the husband, as I walk past the boat starts to drift off, it is not moored. I grab hold of it and bring it back. I start asking him questions about sailing. He tells me to look up at the sky while I’m walking. This makes me feel very dizzy, I think this is what it must be like to feel sea sick.

There is a girl I like in the group, she is blonde and tanned and younger than me. I think she likes me. I’m happy being with these girls. This place reminds me a bit of Weymouth. I am on the boat with some of the girls. Me and this blonde girl are walking ahead of the others. Just before we’re about to get off the boat she stops me and says she wants to talk. She says she likes me. I say I like her too, neither of us are sure about whether we want to act on it. I say I’m not sure about a relationship with her and I don’t sleep with people unless I’m in a relationship. Privately I’m not sure she’s even single (or that I am). She agrees it might best not to take it any further, she says she just wanted to tell me.

Her friend catches up with us, she has dark hair. They are talking about going somewhere to get something to eat. The dark haired girl tells her friend she knows a place where they sell fish (it looks a bit like a chip shop). The blonde girl isn’t too keen on fish though. She is doing something on her phone. While they carry on chatting I check her phone. She has the internet on it. She uses a very girly search engine, it has a pink wallpaper. I see my website in the search results. I point it out to her and she shows me a different search and my website comes up loads of times.

They get off the boat and I am on my own. I go into the kitchen. I am looking for something. I hear a squeak and think there must be a mousse under the units. I start looking for it. I find some rubbish on the floor, it looks like fast food wrapping and cardboard. I see a scorpion amongst it. I am afraid I will get stung. There are two cylindrical steel bins, one is bigger than the other. The big one looks like the one my Nan has. I somehow get out of the kitchen by sitting on these bins. I walk along to the bedroom. The boat is laid out just like my first flat. I’m still afraid to go to bed though in case the scorpion comes out of the kitchen and crawls into my bed.

Ralph

I am sitting in my Nan’s old lounge at Webster Close. My mum is there and some other people. There is a ginger cat, he wants to go out the front door, I start petting him though and he becomes very friendly, I am sitting on a sofa, I get him to sit on my lap. This sofa keeps moving around, I seem to be in a slightly different place each time. It looks like Ralph. But my Nan also used to have a ginger cat. There is a man standing in front of the back door. He has his arms spread as if he is guarding it. He has kicked Ralph before. I think that’s why Ralph is trying to go out the front door. I see Phoebe and Rachel. It is night and we are in a dark place, inside (it could still be my Nan’s). There is a porch, but it is as the back of the house. It leads into an overgrown garden. It’s a bit spooky. I don’t like it, they go out but I stay where I am.

Old Haunts

I am at my old house on the Birmingham Road in S.Woodend. My dad and sister L. are there. They go in. I am on the drive in my bed. A very friendly cat comes and sits on my pillow. S/he is white and ginger. S/he sits half on my face and I can hardly breath.

The front garden looks different now. It becomes someone’s back garden. They a large trampoline. It looks very green (could be Matthew’s back garden). I am with some people, I can’t into the garden though. I am outside. There is a man with me, a friend, he seems interested in how I am going to respond to the situation. I think he wants to learn something. While I stay here they have to go off somewhere else.

St Trinians

I am sitting in a room, it is also panelled, at a large table. There are lots of people around the table (they are my friends) and other tables with people at them in the room. It seems a small room and we’re all packed in. I am in an old building. The rooms are all panelled with wood. Phoebe from friends is there and Rachel. Phoebe is dumping a boyfriend, she takes him to a separate room and tries to let him down gently. Later on she tries to dump another boyfriend. He is Chinese, he has written a note that says he will kill himself if she doesn’t love him. He hangs himself from the ceiling of the room they have gone into, he is wearing a grey gown, he has grey breeze blocks hanging from him. She isn’t looking at him though she is talking to herself while she debates and doesn’t see him struggling, he thinks if he lets go before she says yes he will lose her. It looks quite comical, he is deadly serious but she is being funny.

I keep thinking of St. Trinians (my nieces favourite film). The headmistress makes them all go to bed at a particular time, but she knows as soon as the lights go out they get back up again. I think this is actually happening here. Maybe I am at a school or a university. It looks like a very old traditional place.

I look very happy at one point. I have a thick fringe and my hair is blonder and thicker, I have it tied back in a high ponytail. I am wearing a colourful stripy top with long sleeves. My girlfriend is here too (even though I don’t have one!).

I get called to a room and get left there. My mum is there, she is angry and shouting, she looks younger. I’m not sure what’s wrong but I feel I am being blamed for something that isn’t my fault.

A Gay Household

I have gone to visit some girls sharing a house. They are students but they are living in the country. I have to walk across a green field to get there. I think I am carrying something, a bowl or a plate. Maybe I am taking them a dish of some kind. There are two girls in the house when I get there. One is an Asian girl, she looks a bit like my old violin teacher, or an actress who played Amy in the film ‘The Forty Year Old Virgin’. I think A. is quite new to the house. I can’t see the other girl very clearly. Someone is learning to crochet, because I see a copy of a weekly crochet magazine on the coffee table.

I am planning to go home again but they want me to stay. Amy goes up to her room, she has a bed that looks like one I used to have, that I got from IKEA, it had a steel tube frame. She comes running downstairs, she is very upset and crying, she has a made a dent in one of her chairs, it is a wooden chair (like one I saw on Cash In The Attic the other day). I think she is afraid they will have to pay for it. I tell not to worry, it’s fine and no one will notice.

I am standing outside on a lawn talking to Julie from Cambs. She has a concert to go to. She has had a lot of pieces to learn for it. She has to learn these pieces to pass her course. I go back into the house. A. and this other girl are upstairs. There is another girl there. She is tall with red hair. I think her name is Charlie. She is getting something out of the fridge to eat (the fridge is in the lounge - a bit like one of the student houses I lived in). There is also a bed in this room. This woman is very friendly.

I am lying on the bed and she comes back into the room and sits on top of me. She kisses me and tells me not to worry I don’t have to do anything. I don’t like it though, she’ come on too strong. I ask her if she has girlfriend, she says no but I’m not sure I believe her. Someone else comes home and the red head gets off me. I like this other girl, she is quieter, not so tall, she has dark hair. We go and lie on her bed upstairs.

The girl with red hair is vacuuming on the landing, I’m afraid she is going to come in, so I get up and close the door. I’m a bit worried what she will think about me being in this girls room but she doesn’t seem to mind. I realise I haven’t shaved my legs and she notices.

After a bit we go downstairs, everybody is in the lounge. The red haired girl looks older now, her grey roots are showing. Her trousers ride up as she sits down and I see she doesn’t shave her legs either. Everybody leaves the room and it is just me and the dark haired girl. She is talking about the red haired girl and another girl. While she is talking I realise that I used to go to school with both of these girls she is talking about. One was Sarah H. and a friend of hers, but I cna't remember her name. She says people tried to ‘cure’ them. I get angry and say, ‘Cure them of what!’, she looks surprised at my reaction. I laugh and say ‘I know, I don’t look very militant’.

Red Tape

I am an au pair for a little boy. He looks like my nephew A. I am trying to teach him something. We are standing in a country lane for some reason. I pick up brick and pretend to listen to it, I play with it turning it over in my hand looking at it closely. I give it to A. to copy. I notice he has a lot of saliva around his mouth. It’s as if I am teaching him to be autistic or teaching him as if he were autistic.

There is a desk, there are lots of women behind it. (It’s a bit like the desk at University were we used to have to hand in our work). I want an update but they have lost my form and consequently haven’t done anything. I have to fill in another form. I still have A. with me. His parents have already filled in an application form. I think it is something to do with a property. It sounds strange but they have put forward three prices, maybe they are in a bidding war. The first amount is £90k something in black, the next price is £126k in red, the next price is £70k something in black. I think it is a property they want to buy, now they’re not sure if they can afford it.

My Sister's New Boyfriend

I am outside the entrance to Tescos again. My sister L. is there. She has a new boyfriend. She is dressed more casually than normally in tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt, her hair is pulled back into a ponytail. A bit like how I was dressed at Chav night. Her new boyfriend is younger than she is. He looks in his early twenties. He has dark blonde curly hair. He has just become self employed. He is planning to sell medical equipment. He is explaining it to me. He seems very nice. He is very happy about his change in career. They need some people’s help. I think that’s why I’m there. These other people show up, one of them is a large girl (L.’s best friend G. is a big girl). I see L. slap her around the face. I’m not sure what it is over. A bit later it happens again and they all walk off in disgust. It is either me or with me who tells her she can’t do that to people.

More People Come To Lich.

I’m in a flat. It is my flat except it is roomier and brighter. It is in the same position, on the top floor. I think it is all open plan, I have a door which leads into a walk in wardrobe and one but that’s it. I don’t know where the bathroom is. There is a man opposite and a woman below me. There is something wrong with her plugs. There is another door in my wardrobe which leads to a landing and a wide staircase, it is still very bright and yellow here.

Pa. is there too. I think he is living opposite this woman. He is sitting at a desk writing. He hears me talking to this woman. She is holding up a big piece of paper for me, I think it is a plan of the building. She is middle aged, she is dressed very smartly in work gear, she has blonde hair, she isn’t much taller than me. Although she wants my help she isn’t all that friendly. I am dressed casual, At one point I think I’m wearing the black jeans and the peach top I had tried on before going out last night.

Pa. comes in to help. He is wearing a chunky jumper mostly it is yellow (the colour of the solar plexus, the centre of our ego). Except around his stomach is lots of grey and brown. I don’t want to talk to him and I walk away. I move further and further away but they seem to be following. I move onto the stairs, and they appear, I go back to my wardrobe and they appear. Part of me wants to join in, part of me wishes they’d just go away. They finish talking and he goes back to his flat.

Visiting G. In Hospital

I am on my way to visit G. I am driving again. I go to Blake Street train station. There is a tunnel at Blake street you have to go through to get to the stairs leading to the platform to Birmingham. I go through the tunnel but I don’t go up the stairs. There are some other people here as well. They are doing something similar to me. Some of them get on the train. I see a boy I used to know at school, DA, who now lives in Australia, he is on the train.

I am inside the supermarket. I am picking stuff off the shelves and making a pile of it on the floor. People have to step over it and there is a shop assistants checking prices next to it but no one seems to mind. I have bananas and oranges and other things. The things I normally buy when I’m shopping. I think I am taking stuff to see G..

I have done something once and now I’m going back again to do it a second time. I’m driving back into Tescos, I feel like I am in a multi-storey car par (although there isn’t one at Tescos). It reminds me of a car park in Cambridge I used to use. It also reminds me of a tunnel on a water ride. But I don’t go down all the way. (It reminds me of centre parks when I went with A.). It is something to do with working out this puzzle, now I am trying to go back up through this tunnel.

I am at the entrance to Tescos in Lich. Garry is there, he is still wearing a hospital gown. He is still in hospital, but he must be out of traction because he comes over to my bed to say hello and comfort me. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I am in my old bunk bed that I shared with my twin. Mine was the top bunk. Maybe it is just because I’d been speaking about my childhood when we went out last night. He climbs up the ladder and strokes my foot and then returns to his bed.

I have done something twice, something to do with a film or the television, I keep thinking of the (Hitchcock film I bought Notorious). Maybe it’s because I bought G. two DVDs. There is something you can do here, something you have to work out (I also bought him a puzzle). When G. comes to my bed he has a go at the puzzle, I’m talking to him about what I needed to do on my way to my bed.

Mission Impossible

I am standing in a churchyard. It is night. There is a man there I know, he has dark hair, he's not very tall. He has stubble. My sister C. shows up as well with her kids. I think there is something going on at the church. It is something to do with foreigners and immigration. I feel like we're on the run from someone. At the same time there is something that we are trying to do, achieve together. He has to go somewhere but we arrange to meet up again.

We go to a tall building, it is white with different layers - strange architecture. I'm looking up at it, I think I go up it.

It is still night. I am standing in a busy city street. I cross over the road to where there are some coaches. I want to get on one. I think this man is already there, or already on one.

I am on the Tamworth Road with sis C and one of her children. We have a bicycle for four people. It is a sunny day. This man is still with me.

I Go To Wales With My Sister

I am on a beach with my sister C. and her kids. There are lots of children there. The weather doesn’t look particularly nice though. The beach is fairly small, it is just a cove, and half of it is taken up with these jagged rocks which jut out of the sand like gravestones. The waves on the sea are really big, The children hold onto the rocks and wait for the waves to come and lift them up. My old violin teacher comes onto the beach, she sits down straight away on a deck chair and immediately attracts some older men. I see RM and some other lads, they look like teenagers. They are standing in what looks like the alcoves on the swimming pool building at our old school. They are laughing, he makes out with this other guy.

A Friend Moves in Next Door

It is snowing a lot. I am walking with my sis C. back to my flat. J. from next door (to my parents) is with us. J. is moving into a new house. I think she is becoming a student for the first time. Her room will have two beds and two sofas in it. She is telling me this. I think she is going to live near me.

We are in a car. I think we are somewhere near Whittington barracks. J. has a boyfriend. We are at some crossroads, someone goes into us. We see a car bump into the car in front of it. This car pulls over. We turn right into this old disused industrial looking place. J. gets out she is upset at her boyfriend, for not doing anything about the accident.

We are going to use some public toilets. The turning kiosks are a funny shape, they are very narrow. J. goes through fine but I get my leg caught. Another girl is coming through at the same time. We have a laugh at my situation, then I manage to wriggle free.

I am back at my building. I am standing in the stairwell. There is a white wolf and an exotic monkey like creature and other animals. I want to go down but I’m hesitant. I am holding something, I spill water down to the ground floor. Half of the staircase is cordoned off. I make my way slowly down the stairs and I get to the bottom fine.

A Lot of Hot Air

I am at a large sports stadium. There is a large crowd and a news reporter. Some men are filling an airship with helium. They manage to get off the ground but not for long. There is a large explosion, the crowd gasps. The men operate an eject procedure and their cabin floats to the ground on a parachute.

Outside my Flat

I am walking out of my flat. I see a nest in the top of a tree through the window on the landing. As I look it gets closer. I see there is a crow in the nest. I’m afraid I might have scared it by staring for so long, but it hops onto the window sill. I want to give it something, but unfortunately I haven’t got anything to give it, so I just try to be friendly for a bit before saying goodbye.

We are outside now. There are three young men. One of them is holding a sword. It looks like part of an iron railing he has dismantled. He holds it up as if to threaten me. The other two men pick up similar wards, they start doing this one for all, all for one routine.

In France

I am on the continent, possibly France. Jenny LF is with. I have somewhere I have to go. There is a guy, with dark curly hair, a bit like the man off Top Gear (not Jeremy the other one). I have to walk across this very thin strip of land that joins two places very far apart, is made up of just sand. At a certain times is covered by the sea. I have got about half way. I’m not sure what’s there or why I have to be there.

I am walking back and I see a coach coming towards me. It is brown and picking up lots of sand. I don’t know which way to throw myself, then I decide I haven’t got time to get out of the way and throw myself on the ground hoping the wheels will miss me. But the coach is very low to the ground and my head gets hit by the underside (doesn’t really hurt though?). It stops before I have come out the other side. I wriggle free.

I carry on walking back and go and find Jenny LF, my mum is there too. Jenny had gone too but she started walking back sooner. The man with curly hair just stood and watched as the sea came in, throwing his arms in the air as if he wanted the sea to take him, it didn’t, and he was fine. The coach comes back and I confront the driver. He’s not very nice. He’s a big man, over weight, hairy, not very clever. I want to know why he didn’t stop. He says I should have moved out of the way. I say I didn’t have time to think. I tell I’m autistic, and that the part of my brain that makes decisions doesn’t work very well. I say it’s a bit like when a rabbit is caught in headlights, it loses it’s decision making function. He doesn’t say anything. I walk away, I think I had the upper hand there.

Me, Mum and Jenny are standing at the beginning of a street. There are old buildings on both sides of the street. They are in rows, right up against each other and varying different heights and sizes. They are all architecturally different and attractive. Some have shutters and some have balconies. It looks like a scene
from a painting by a famous French painter Lautrec. The street is badly made, it is just sand and dirt, there are lots of puddles. It is night, but the place is very busy still. The shops are open and people are out in the street. There is a girl standing in the street handing out leaflets. She looks very different to everybody else. She is just wearing grey jeans and a t-shirt, her hair is tied back in a ponytail. I think she is gay. She tries to hand me a leaflet, but my automatic response is to say no thank you and I walk away. She says ‘Ah, that’s sweet.’ Which is a strange thing to say because I don’t think I was very nice.

I am in a large hall the walls of which are panelled in a dark wood. It looks like an old building. There are people sitting at desks, around the side of the room stand soldiers in green uniforms with brass buttons and flat hats. They look foreign. The people sitting at the desks are clearly frightened. I think this is a dictatorship. I have come to see one of the women there. She has is also in some kind of green uniform, she has blond hair. I start talking to her, I am telling her about the coach business. She nods her head in the direction of one of the soldiers. I don’t think I am supposed to be telling her this. We both start talking in a pretend foreign language so they don’t understand what we are saying (only we don’t understand each other either!).

There is a woman, she has something to do with art, she looks like my old English teacher Miss Buckley. She isn’t one of us. There are a few others who are with me. We go into this room with her, we going to write or make something creative. I think Jenny LF is with me. We are making something together. It looks like a keyboard made out of paper. There are different pieces you can pull out. I think it is something to do with the strip of land we visited. We are explaining it to the woman. It’s something to do with geography and taking you somewhere. The woman turns into the black lady off escape to the country.

A New Life in a New Country

I am living somewhere different, either America/Australia/New Zealand, it is a residential area and all the houses are in blocks. They don’t look like English buildings, mostly bungalows. I am looking for a job. There aren’t many people living here, something has happened to make them leave.

I have found a job (not sure what), it is my second job here (not sure why I left my first). My Dad is here too, I think he is the one pushing me to get another job. This one is something to do with animals, either training or grooming or welfare. I told this man that I had the job when I hadn’t even had the interview yet. (Lucky I got it!).

A woman brings out a dog to me. I think this is my dog. It is a large grey dog. It has just had a hair cut and a shampoo and it’s wearing a red collar. (Same dog as I saw in one of my previous dreams). He looks very smart and is trying to behave appropriately?! I stroke him and he licks my face. The woman holding his lead tries to stop him.

I am at home. I decide to go to bed. It is a small room, with a double bed in it. This woman also sleeps there. I think she must be my partner. I have lots and lots of clothes (not expensive mind you). I have so many I hardly ever get round to wearing things twice.

I am driving down a road. There is a lot of urgency. There is a truck in front of me, I try over taking it on both sides but it won’t let me past. I’m driving very dangerously.

I am at some kind of fashion show. I still have a lot of fear of some kind of disaster. I’m watching the women go down the cat walk. There is loud music and lots of people in the audience. Everyone is clapping in time. It’s not a very glitzy or glamorous show. I am on the catwalk too, I hear the clapping stop and turn round to watch them. Two of the models (women), one white and one Chinese looking start doing a little routine on the cat walk.

The Might of the Church

I am sitting in a small but crowded room (looks a bit like the music room in my last dream). It is a church group. There are lots of chairs and I can see a podium. The seat next to me is empty, but the rows in front and behind me are full (I am sitting in the same place I sat the first time I went to the spiritualist church in Huntingdon). A woman comes a sits by me, she’s not very friendly. She is middle aged, short, wavy dark blond hair. She is wearing a long skirt and a black cardigan. She tells me it is my turn to do a reading. I say no way, no one told me I would have to do a reading. She tells me they’re all waiting. I ask her what the reading is. She says it is something out of John’s gospel. I’m trying to figure out how long it is, I don’t think it is very long, so I say okay. (Think I should have stuck to my guns there). I don’t actually do the reading, (maybe this part was a test to see how I would react to being asked to do something I don’t want to).

I am writing something for a competition. They take just a hundred words form what I’ve written and that’s what they base their decision on. I think I am in my Nan’s old house in Webster close. I can see myself at the table by the patio windows at the end of the lounge. My Mum and L. are there, they don’t like the words I am using. I am using long words and they want me to use short words. I have to do this work before they will let me go somewhere.

I see myself and another woman wrapped up warm in waterproof jackets. I think I might be in a Range Rover. Or in some sort of cabin. I think it is on my parents drive. I have to stay here till get it right. (Don’t know what I have to get - to follow what I want to do not what others want me to do? Which is what the rest of the dream seems to be focused on).

No One's Listening

Inside the house I am telling my family that I don’t want to come for Christmas. My Dad won’t take me seriously. He is patronising me and saying of course I will. I am stomping around in a white T-shirt (I have just got out of bed) trying to show them I’m angry and that they should take me seriously. My Dad tells me I have to start behaving (social etiquette and duty are more important to my dad than personal feelings). My Mum is there but she isn’t saying anything. My Dad is saying that I am just saying these things so I can get to see a psychiatrist. I am getting more upset because no one is listening to me.

We are in a shoe shop. My Dad is buying my brother C. some shoes. I think he is getting us all some shoes. These shoes my brother is trying on look like school shoes, they don’t look very grown up, they are black leather, and they have a luminous green catch on the front instead of laces. My Dad is telling my brother he has to be careful about what he says later. They still think I’m going.

Shady Dealings

Me and my sis L. are standing by the side of a house about to enter the back garden. I see a bird on a bush. It’s feathers are green and yellow and shiny. It has a polka dot pattern on it’s chest (my sister loved polka dots when she was a teenager). It is singing, I point it out to her but she says she can’t see it. It hops, closer, then it comes closer still and lands on my arm. She sees it then, but gives it a ‘death’ stare and it literally drops dead. I see the bush it was sitting in move, as if there is an animal inside it something is thrown out of the bush toward me. I catch it. It is prickly - I see it is a baby hedgehog. It is dead though. I check it over to see what happened. I look into one of it’s eyes, which is cloudy. I think it must have been blind. I spot a tiny round pellet just above its eye and I think this must have killed it.

In the back garden there are some fir trees which we go and stand under. She is holding this shopping list, and having a go at me about it. But she thinks it is a speech, she says I can’t go round saying these things. She keeps looking behind her. I think she has bought me here so no one will hear her have a go at me. She wants to tell me what I should say. She is telling me also that I have to go to this thing I don’t want to, that I have to do what they want.

Violins and vegetables

I am in a car with my family. We are driving up a residential street which is on a hill. We park on the side of the road. I want to go into a white building I can see. I see a girl coming up the street, she is young with dark hair. She goes into the building. I follow her. There are other girls there. The room we are standing in is small, there are some desks and some chairs. A girl in black next to me tells this other girl is going to have a violin lesson.

Outside a man in a white car, with black curly hair parks behind us. My Dad goes over to talk to him. The man gives him something - lots of vegetables. He comes back and tells me this man is my aunts brother, that there is a rift between them and they haven’t spoken for many years. He wants us to help heal the rift. I don’t like the vegetables he’s brought, cauliflower? I think great, now I’ve got to eat all these.

Supermarket Dash

I am in a supermarket. I think I have come with my mum, I see her holding a basket and carrying a list, it looks like a receipt but she hasn’t got to the checkout yet. This list has something to do with a speech I must make. But there is a problem, they don’t like what I want to say.

I am having a group meeting with some people. We are seated in a circle in the middle of one of the aisles. There is a black guy sitting next to me, he is wearing jeans and a checked red shirt, he is sitting with his legs and arms crossed looking very thoughtful but not saying much.

I walk all the way down to the last checkout, but they won’t put the stuff through the till for me either, something to do with this speech. I come back and go to the till with my mum. I know the man at the checkout, I’m a bit scared of him. He says hello to me; I say hello back. I know I should have said hello, but something about this guy makes me uneasy. I didn’t expect him to be there.

A Teacher at Primary School

I have gone to primary school. I am sitting in a class. Some of the children are small, some of them are big. I think some have been in the class longer than others. A bit like the American School System. H. is there. I am sitting next to her but don’t notice till abut half way through the class. I turn to her and say, do I know? She says, yes. I say, are you H. And she says, yes. I want to know what she’s doing there. She tells me it is part of her job. She gets paid for endorsing peoples products by showing people she is using them herself. She recommends it to me. She says it is good money. I love her hair, it is long and dark brown, she has had it permed, but they are the tightest curls I’ve ever seen. A bit Kate Bush Like.

It is playtime and we have gone outside. She keeps texting me jokes and stuff. I think she likes me. I seem to have become a teacher or maybe I’m a consultant there. The children are very badly behaved. There is one girl who is crying because she has had an argument with her friend. I am kneeling down beside her, I say they must both come to my office and we will sort it out. The other teachers seem impressed, but I’m still worried about all the other naughty children I haven’t dealt with. P. is there as well, but we’re ignoring each other.

I am in a new home. It is right on the edge of a lake. It is very modern and newly finished inside. My sis L. has come to visit, she is trying to persuade me to go into market research, where you test people’s products for them. I don’t seem very enthusiastic. She is wearing a suit and looking very posh. I think this is a new business idea of hers. We start off in the kitchen and then walk into my lounge which looks out over the lake. There is a door leading outside onto a narrow bit of decking, then there is the lake. I open the door and a little dog rushes in. He is white with brown patches. I pick him up. I step outside, the lake looks beautiful, it is teaming with life. There are lots of ducks on the water, and swans that are black and white.

I am back at the school, but outside still. I am near what looks like an airstrip. There are cars taking off into the air. My Dad is there and my sis L. there is one that is coming back down, it looks like it is going to crash land and I think it is heading towards me, I start running. It misses me. No one is hurt, the car doesn’t look very damaged either.

I am walking back to where the children are playing. I see a tree on the grass. A girl in Victoria dress, with a very white face and red lips and dark hair is sitting on a branch. There is a tree house there. We start talking and she invites me up. When I get inside I see there is another girl there. She has red clothes. They are both getting dressed. I think they have been doing stuff together. The red haired girl leaves and the other girl comes on to me. After a bit I leave and go back to the school building. I walk into the classroom where we had been before and it is full of men playing with themselves. I walk out again. I go outside and find H..

My Mum Comes Back

Dreamt about Mum. At the beginning of the dream I arrive at this big building, there are works going on inside (bit like in the second dream). There is a robber or someone bad, dressed in black creeping about. I am trying to hide from him.

It turns out to be my parents house. I am asleep in a bedroom upstairs. It is a plain room. There are two single beds in the room, with white sheets. The furniture looks a bit seventies. It looks like a B&B room.

I can hear my Mum and Dad having an argument in the kitchen across the hall, which seems strange - having a kitchen upstairs rather than downstairs.

When I wake up my Mum is sitting up in the other bed. She doesn’t have lymphedema anymore. There is a doctor by her bed, he is explaining about her lungs, explaining how she might still have a long time. I tell her about this book I’ve been reading (The Power Is In You). And how it talks about cancer. I say it is only about two pages long and will she read it.

I hear my brother E. and my Dad having an argument in another room. My Mum gets up and leaves.

I get up a bit later. I go out onto the landing. There are some cards on the banister. I think they are condolence cards. One is addressed to W.B. my Granddad. (I think this might be their house at Bakers Lane).

I am downstairs in the front room. It looks like my parents house again. My Dad and my sisters are there, I am sitting on the sofa. My Mum comes in, in a purpley-red nightgown. She seem to be walking quite well, her legs look a bit worse. At first she sits down next to me on the sofa. Then she stands up and walks towards the armchair by the window. The others are saying she is trying to do too much. She falls over by the chair and my dad has to pick her up and put her in it.

My Dad and E. have been out somewhere. They come back. I am asleep again but in a different room. My Dad comes in to wake me up. He says Mum is at the hospital, that my aunt and uncle and cousin are already there. I tell him I have just seen Mum.

Friends the Series

I think I am in an episode of Friends. I think the girls are taking a break from being Friends and the boys are interviewing people to replace them.

They have done something to the building, moved it I think to a new block I think. I am looking at an area that has an empty block. There are buildings around it, but one square of land is empty. The ground is laminated wood effect ply. Like the inside of my flat, rather than concrete. I see Joey pushing the building into the empty square. Chandler runs up the fire escape to the top of it and pulls it into place by hanging onto the next building.

They seem to have interviewed everyone. There are two guys left over. They want these guys to a very girl job, to be secretaries, or personal assistants or housekeepers. The inside of this house still looks under construction. It looks like a warehouse inside. Joey and Chandler are sitting behind a big desk and there are lots of chairs about the place for the people they are interviewing. Rachel and Pheobe (I think I am Rachel in this dream) sit behind the desk also but a bit further back, they are not involved in the interviews, just watching.

There is some kind of competition going on between the boys and the girls. The boys are very happy and excited about the changes. It reminds me of the episode when they won the girls apartment off them. (The girls apartment is larger).

I think the boys have also been looking for new housemates. I think Joey has been kissing the girls Rachel and Pheobe. I see him falling through the air and landing on something soft on his back. He is smiling and licking his lips.

Patience is a Virtue

I am in a shop, there are queues on both sides. I go I and hand a piece of paper to a woman and join the queue on the right. It doesn’t look like a normal shop. It looks like a very large kitchen and there are workmen busy installing it still. I am worrying that I haven’t told them everything I should have on my form, or that I won’t qualify, I think I have applied for a benefit. The women look like the women at CAB. After a while someone comes out and tells me that a chopping board is still being fitted into the worktop. He’s quite tall, this man, and he has grey hair, jeans a work belt. I think he is in charge. It looks like all the people waiting are women.

I am in a car with another woman. She has dark straight shoulder length hair. It is night and we are driving through an inner city, one way system. We are listening to a piece of music. It has a really catchy tune, we keep repeating the same eight notes over and over, it goes dum, dum-dum, dum, dum, dum-dum, dum. We are nodding our heads in time. I think we are waiting or queuing to get in somewhere, we are going round a round about that looks B’ham, near Broad Street. She is driving, although I am sitting on the right side of the car, the wheel is on the left. I have dropped a piece of paper on the floor of the car by my feet.

Now I am walking through the centre of this city, it is daylight. I have a plastic carrier bag of shopping with me. It looks more like London than B’ham. It is very busy, lots of people. I see my sister L. on a camel coming towards me. We ignore each other although the camel seems interested in my shopping.

The Bookshop

I meet Jennifer LF, we are walking down a street and bump into each other. She says I should come into this bookshop with her. She says it is Borders, but it is very small. She takes me into a small area, that has a table in it. I sit at the table while she looks for books. She chooses four, she gives two to me, she says it is a 2 for 1 offer. Then she goes into the coffee shop area, I stay at the table. At first I think she is going to buy them and give one of them to me. But when she doesn’t come back I think she was just choosing something for me to buy.

I leave the shop and walk to the train station. I get a train back to where I live. It is a small house on an estate. I think I am just a lodger there. There is a woman living in the house who owns it. I go to my room, it is quite small, there isn’t much room except for the furniture. The furniture is pine, and the décor is pink. It’s a very girly room, not me at all. I open my bag and find the two books from Borders. I realise I forgot to pay for them. I wonder if I have time to get back to the shop and pay for them.

I rush to the train station. I can see a train stopping at the platform. There is no one at the counter, instead there is a machine you have to buy tickets form. It looks like the cash machine in the Halifax. I put my credit card in, but I can’t figure out how to choose which station I’m going to. There is a Chinese man behind me. He is getting very aggravated because I am taking so long. He shows me how to do it. While he is showing which buttons to press his arms are going all over the place, I think he might have a condition like dyspraxia. I think I miss the train but I end up back at the book shop somehow.

It looks like a bigger place than it did before. I sit at the table I sat at before and a waiter brings something to my table. It looks like a salt grinder thing, but it the top half of it is a fizzy liquid I think is an alcoholic drink. I realise I am sitting on a balcony, below me is a dance floor, it looks like a ballroom. There is a man in a suit with a microphone and lots of people milling about around him. Some of the people are holding black discs with numbers on them. I think it is some kind of speed dating thing, that this man is running.

I decide I want to leave. There are some people standing near my table who are in the way. One of them picks up something which is mine, a Chinese lad. I have a go at him. I am walking out but when I get close to the door I see that something else is going on. There are some oldish women sitting in chairs, the place has shrunk again. There are some men in the corner setting something up. I ask the women what is going on but they ignore me. I hear one of them talk about a singer. I turn around and see an African man in traditional dress setting up a microphone. He tells us he is Malaysian. He thanks the man who owns the coffee shop for letting him come and sing (there seems to be a fear of this man coming from the outside). I’m getting bad vibes off him and these women, so I leave.

I am walking down Birmingham Road. There is a woman in front of me, she is wearing a pink suede coat like the one I have but it is full length. She has blonde hair and is pushing a buggy.

At the house I am back in my room. The owner comes into my room. She sees some make-up on my bed. She tells me that wrinkle creams don’t work, you have to have surgery. She gets a couple out of the box and I choose one to try.

The Hairdresser

I am in someone’s lounge. It is a large room. She is a hairdresser. A European woman is coming to have her hair cut. The hairdresser has been given a diagram to follow with strict instructions about how to cut her hair. I think this woman is a pop singer. The foreign lady has short bleached blond hair. She wants it cropped, but she doesn’t want any ridges, or sticky out layers, she wants it smooth all over. It is a bit like the shape of her face, round and smooth. I am looking at the instructions, part of it looks like a contemporary poem, the words are printed on the page in the shape of the lady’s hair, or rather how she wants it to be.

Communal Breakfast

I see an eating area, there are lots of tables and it looks busy. It feels more like a holiday camp than a school canteen. My sis C. is sitting at a table with her children. I go over and talk to them. My niece O. is there, C. is telling her she is not allowed to come to Wales. I think that’s a unfair. O. wants a friend to stay, C. says she has to do something first, then her friend would want to stay.

Then I see another family, they have a son, he has a French boy with him. He is on an exchange program. He sits down at a table with his mother. In front of him is his breakfast, It is a sandwich with many layers, the top layer has a fried egg. He lifts up a the bread and sprinkles some salt on it. I think he maybe related to this girl I was singing with, a girl with dark hair moves over to let me sit down. His mother is nice and doesn’t mind me joining them.

Singing Again

I am at a very old university/school. There are beautiful old stone buildings around me. I am walking through the corridors. There are lots of children about. I am surprised to see Tina Turner in the distance. She is dressed very smartly in a grey knee length dress with a thick black belt.

Later I am standing in a chapel near the alter next to an organ. Next to me is a younger girl, she has dark straight hair tied back. We are singing a duet. I am nervous because I haven’t sung in a long time and she is a good singer. Also I feel like stranger here, I think it is the first time I’ve been here. I’m singing alto she’s singing soprano. It is going okay until the end when I sing the last note which should be hers as it’s a high note. I feel really bad, I didn’t mean to I just wasn’t concentrating. The congregation (we have a fair sized audience) seem more upset than she does, she gives me a half cross, a half you naughty thing look.

The congregation are leaving and we are standing in line (the singers - there was also a choir although they didn’t join in with our song). A man with grey hair is walking up and down the line, I think he is in charge. I don’t like him. He creates a bad atmosphere. We’re all a bit afraid of him. People leave but I stay behind for a bit.

The Babysitter

Dreamt of Pa.. We are sitting on the sofa in my mums lounge. He has a little boy on his lap. It looks like my nephew Alex. He has to go

We are having choir practice. We are all sitting on the floor in my mums front room. (Pa. isn’t there though). I can see people on a stage, it is a very large theatre. There are some famous singers. Mariah Carey is there. There are also some normal people who are also singers. It looks very glitzy, I think it is being filmed for television.

I think I am watching the television with the people from choir. I know Karen is there, the others are hazy. We are watching Silence of the Lambs. It’s the part where he is telling her how he has sown on someone else’s face onto his. She is chatting away asking questions as if he were a normal person. I see him with several different faces, at one point I am looking out through his eyes. She is wearing make-up and glasses, her hair is permed. She doesn’t really seem to be paying much attention to what he’s saying.

I’m on the sofa with Pa.. He says he doesn’t like horror films, but he doesn’t mind the ones I showed him, they were very intelligent. He says he is going. He roles over onto me and drops the toddler on my lap. He stands up and says he’ll be back in a bit.

At first the toddler is a bit shy but we bond quite quickly. We go into one of the bedrooms to play. My sister L. is there and so is my niece H.. They are in one of the beds. They get out when I come in. L. is very upset, I think because I have this baby (she finds it difficult to be happy for other people). She is saying some very mean things. She calms down after a bit and they go out. Alex can say a few words. He says daddy meaning Pa., then he says ‘Bic Bic’, which is one of my nieces’ name for me. I am amazed he knows who I am. I open a book and show him the letter ‘v’. I try to get him to say ‘Vic’.

I am driving through what looks like a big city. I think Pa. is in the car with me. The road layout looks American. I am at a large cross roads, I turn right, I am swapping lanes, but I’m not really sure where I should be on the road.

I am back at the house, we are outside. My sister C. is there as well. The house is on an estate. E are all going for a walk. A man brings me a handwritten letter. It is from some people who live on a farm. The language in the letter is very posh, which surprises me as they are farmers. The language they use is exaggerated and a bit overdone. They are talking about a dispute they’ve had. It think it is with some other farmers. I think they are related to Pa.. This man who gives me the letter says they’re not very nice. It’s an invitation for me to go and see them. I don’t know them and I haven’t met them but there seems to be some kind formal relationship between us.

We set off on our walk. I have a lead for Alex. I’m afraid he is going to run off. I give him a bike with stabilisers and zaps off with this lead attached. We come back from the walk. He wants some of bubble gum. He chooses a green piece, but he doesn’t like it. He opens his mouth wide so I can take it out. Pa. comes back, I am hoping he is going to stay, but he doesn’t. He takes Alex and they go.

House of Fire

I am walking down Birmingham Road in Lichfield. I see Shameela with two other girls walking towards me. She looks happy. A while later I am in a house, with a group of lads, they are my friends. The house is on fire. One lad is on his laptop, we aren’t doing much about it. The house is on the site of the fire station on B’ham Road.

Now I am walking back up the same road. There is a girl walking by my side. She is carrying a large brass instrument. It looks too big and very heavy. She is playing it because the girl who normally does it isn’t here. She is struggling with it. A woman catches up with us who looks like Victoria Wood and takes it off her, she is able to play it fine.

I am with the same group of guys, we are in a pub opposite the house on fire. There is a girl we need to find and question. This girl appears then disappears. I think she has something to do with the fire. I think this has happened before..

Back To School

I’m at King Eddies (my secondary school). It looks empty, the coach has just dropped us off. Maybe no one else is there yet. Inside I begin running very fast through the corridors and down some stairs. Someone is chasing me (AS?).

I am walking down the hill from the lower school building to the upper school. I see the coach turning round in the staff car park. I knock on the door but the driver ignores me. There is another coach parked there. I carry on walking It is cold, there is frozen snow on the ground. I pass a gap in the hedge. Through the gap I can see the entrance to the upper school, but it looks different.

L. is standing on the steps. She walks towards me. There are thorns sticking out in the gap, but she comes through, and then I go through the other way. I walk across the grass toward the entrance. There are wide steps leading to the double doors which are wide open, and beyond is a large hall in darkness.

I go inside. I see a woman kneeling, she has short blond hair. She is holding a child. I think it is L. A voice from the side tells me to go somewhere. MI think that’s when I find myself in my flat.

I’m at home in my bed. I’m huddled under the blankets, I don’t want to get up. There is also a bath in my room? A man is doing exercises on me, squeezing me and pulling my joints, like I used to do on my autistic boy.

Now I am in the lounge. It looks like my dads place, their black sideboard is there. There are two camp beds on the floor. Me and L. have been asleep there. The only place to go to the toilet is in a plastic washing up bowl. I have to have a number two. I am trying to wipe myself with a kitchen towel but it starts getting everywhere.

It is dusty and there are lots of cobwebs. My mum walks past the room and asks us to clean up.

L. watches while I clean. I am polishing the sideboard. Grace comes in to help, I let her spray the polish.

Nature Watch

I am a school girl again, I’m in my uniform. There is a group of us and we’re being trained to work with animals. There is a very large rectangular pond. We have to get in and catch something. We are trying to save these animals from a predator.

I am walking down a semi rural residential street, I see one of these animals in front of me. It runs off. (I think it’s a small dog).

I’m at the top of my dad’s back garden with L.. we are in our King Eddie Uniforms. My brother C. and my friend Kat are little children again. Me and L. are trying to make a bed to sleep on, on the lower branches of a tree. I have some books that have gotten wet that I put on the bed. There is an animal, I can’t see it, it is in a bush. A dog jumps into the bush. L. says I should check it’s okay. I put my shoes back on and go over to the bush but the dog runs off, although it has left some poop behind. I pick up the poop and run after it. I think the dog must have thrown the animal into a tree. Because a girl in the same uniform as me who followed me when I ran after it finds a hedgehog in a tree. She lies it on the ground. I think it is hurt.

Drug Dealers

Not sure exactly when I had this dream, but I recorded it in a note book I brought on 16th, so it was after then sometime.

My old maths teacher from school, Mr Hughes, is trying to give us a lesson. E. is there as well (she looks happy), wearing a pink bicycle helmet. We are in teams, there is guy on our team with shaggy hair, wearing an old green jumper. We are looking for a substance. My team manage to find some, it looks like powdered herbs.

We are in a car park, it is night. Mr Hughes shares out the powder. E. is holding some in her hands. He then comes round and mixes a liquid with it to make it into a paste.

At one point, while we are searching I bump into L. and C. We are standing in a city street under some street lamps. L. gives something to C. who gives it to me. It is like a milky substance in a clear plastic bag. I know it has to be combined with something to work. I refuse to take it though. It’s something to make me pregnant but I don’t know why they want to make me pregnant.

Haunted House

I go to see my dad at his house. I ask why he doesn’t reply to my text messages. He says his phone isn’t working properly, he is charging it, and that he never got them. I don’t believe him. My dead cat is there

Liz is at the house, I have given her something to read. I think it might be about Mum, as I soon as I mention mum she and dad groan. I say she only comes through me because I’m bit psychic. But they don’t believe it. They’re not even interested in what she has said.

There is a guy in the next room watching television. It is karaoke. He is singing a song from the mermaid, I join in.

Now I am in a creepy house. There is a ghost in the house that is moving things about. My friend is living there (J.?).

Enlightenment

I am at a royal photo shot. Prince W. is there and the Queen Mother. She is holding a tiny baby in a white flannel babygro. It cries then stops, then cries and stops. She is holding it against her chest.

I am walking down a street. It looks like Birmingham. I am wearing really high black stilettos and lack sheer tights and a short black dress. There are lots of Asian people about. This one guy is walking close by my side, he is looking me up and down. This very grumpy old Asian man pushes past. I can see his aura in a way I haven’t been able to see auras before. I can see the different layers, it’s like a rainbow around him.

I get to the place, it’s a grassy area and there is a huge sculpture of. It’s been made by this guy I used to go to art college with. He has short black scruffy hair and is unshaven, his name is Rob (although I don’t think it was in reality). There are some other people there I don’t know. This sculpture is a giant head with it’s mouth wide open like it is screaming. There is a angel here. S/he is teaching us. We are handed diagrams, think it’s a diagram of our energy bodies. It shows how enlightenment can be achieved. S/he is telling us about a seal, either it has to be broken or made. R. is arguing or debating this information.

Trip to Dorset

L. and Ca. are taking the girls on holiday to Dorset (the last two episodes of escape to the country were in Dorset). They are driving down in a car. I am in dads car. I watch the vehicles drive past us (my dad drives slowly). A couple of horse boxes pass us (the house hunters wanted a paddock for their horses). One horse looks very unhappy. It looks like he is tied up. In fact he looks like one of those stuffed animal heads you see mounted on walls. We arrive at a field, there is a wooden fence around it. The horse is in the paddock. I get in. At first I am afraid of it, but then , it lies down, nearly pushing over the fence, in the attitude of a cat. I think my dad is there as well.

A man near by is choking, he is very fat. I try and help him but he is too big for me to get my arms around and I can’t do the H. manoeuvre. I try pushing my fingers under his rib cage to feel where to push but I can’t.

Mariah Carey

I get the feeling quite a lot happened in my dream, but I can’t remember exactly what happened. I know I wanted to buy a house. But it was taking me a while because I had to save the money. People were giving me little bits of money and I knew it was going to take a while.

I also had to go and see someone about mental health - maybe finally my local mental health team will agree to see me (going to see the lawyer today).

The only scene I remember in detail is going to see Mariah Carey sing. It was an outdoors concert, everyone is standing. I can see a light on Mariah as we turn up, we have come part way through but work our way to the front of the crowd. I am with an old school friend (KC). I think she is telling the audience she is going to sing one of our favourite songs. Me and KC start singing Happy Birthday loudly, a couple of people turn around and give us strange looks. I think it’s strange as well because it’s not a song I’ve ever heard her sing.

A Trip Out With My New Housemates

I am in a house. I am sitting in the lounge. There is very little furniture. The wall paper looks old style Laura Ashley, small floral prints. I am sitting on a sofa (the only furniture in the room) with an American (my old house mate in Cambridge). We are getting along quite well (we didn’t when she was my housemate). She looks younger and slimmer than she was. I want to ask her where in America she is from but I’m afraid I won’t know where that is (I don’t know much about geography). I think we are looking at a book.

Joanna smith comes in, she is wearing a long straight black skirt and a sleeveless grey top - office gear. I think Joanna is responsible for this American girl. The American girl starts having a go at Jo for putting her name down on the rota to do something she doesn’t want to. Eventually Jo gets her to calm down and sits her at a table facing the wall in the dinning room (next to the lounge, there is a wide archway between the rooms). Jo is talking to me, I’m surprised, for some reason I’m afraid she might not like me. There are other girls in the kitchen - I don’t think I get on with them. She asks me what the American girl has been like. I say she’s been okay. Then she goes into the kitchen. The American girl puts her head round the corner and asks me a question. I go round and she shows me what she is doing. It is a drawing of a wood, it is a pencil drawing, I think it is good. It is A4, but part of it goes onto another page. It is a landscape of trees and water. I think she wants to know what I can see. Within the trees I can see faces. (Trees represent friends).

I take a look at the room I am going to have. It is empty except for two pieces of large furniture. It is a strange shape. Like to squares overlapping on one corner (a bit like Jenny’s spare room). There is a table, I think she must have got it from the seaside. It is wood but is papered over. I think it’s blue with stars. I check the draws but they are empty. There is also a tall thin set of draws painted white. They are empty too. In the corner is a narrow staircase leading to more rooms. I know I’m not meant to go up them. I can hear other girls up there, I think Melanie might be there.

I think I’m on a coach. It is decorated like the house. Adele Greensall is there. She leaves a large pile of clothes on her seat. When she comes back they are creased and she is going mental at us. I yell back at her. I tell all she’s got to do is run a hot bath and hang the dresses over it.

I am in a small square room with a little boy. I don’t know how I got there. WE have been locked in here. We have nowhere to pee and we are both desperate to go. The boy pees in the corner, and I let him sleep in a hole behind a vent just off the floor. He wants to know how I’m going to pee. I turn my back to the wall and lift up my skirt. I watch it run across the floor. I am wearing wellingtons which is good, but I don’t know how long I can keep standing up before I fall asleep.

I am at a fairground. I am walking around on my own. I can see groups of girls all having fun. I keep thinking I’m going to bump into this girl who doesn’t like me. I don’t like being there and am trying to find a way out. I can see the car park and our coach parked there. There are so many rides, which are enormous, then there are restricted areas. Across the grass I can see a small fairground. I can see a large black dome. There are men inside wearing jumpsuits, they are working at machinery. I say excuse me and walk through hoping they don’t mind.

I am in a car but for some reason I can’t turn it around. I get out of the car park and am on the road but the car is the wrong way round and I am driving backwards. I try turning it around again and scrape the side of the coach. The coach is sinister it is red and I can’t see any windows in it.

An Obstacle Course

I am at my dads house. There has just been a downpour of rain. I can see more grey clouds, we are waiting for a second downpour. There is no fence again, just concrete posts, the garden looks lush.

I am running through an underground tunnel, it looks wet, it is dark, could be a sewage system. I think E. is there. We have a woman who seems to be in charge. She is tall and slim with cropped hair. We thought someone was our friend but they betrayed us. There is also an older man, he has grey hair, reminds me of a news reader. We are on some sort of course and there is a selection process going on.

E. and me are playing with some small rubber balls. He is trying to throw his behind him and catch it by reaching his arms through his legs. I say it’s easier to do Vic to --- (throwing the ball then catching it through my legs) than ---- to Vic (the opposite way round). (Vic represents my front and a name I can’t remember represents my rear).

We climb up a ladder. I see a small room, there are girls in there dancing. I think of the Russian girl form BB. One girl catches my eye. She has dark bobbed hair and is wearing a black dress. She is foreign, (she reminds me of my old housemate Melanie although she looks nothing like her - Melanie was German). She begins acting very strange, I think she must be drunk. There are other foreign students here. I think E. is still here

We are above ground now. We see two foreign students, both male. The students are lazy and don’t want to work. They are running off. Whatever it is we want them to do, they say they will do it later. I wonder why they aren’t more worried about what their teachers back home will think, and why they keep sending them here.

I am standing on a piece of land, it looks like part of the estate of an stately home. The presenter of Grand designs is there and another man I don’t think I like very much. He is talking a lot but doesn’t really know what he’s talking about, he is wearing shabby clothes, looks like he could be the outdoors sort. He saying
what we should do, something very extreme and different. The TV presenter is leaning on the pitch fork. He wants something in keeping with the local landscape. We are waiting for some others before we start work.

We are in a council house. There is a young woman, she has blonde straight hair. There are two young children playing on the kitchen floor. Two rats are running around the floor also. I’m worried they might attack the children but they don’t, the children don’t seem to mind. There is a large hole in the wall where they got in. The council has been round to patch up the wall but they didn’t do a very good job. I tell her she must go back to the council, that they have a legal obligation to fix the hole, that she can’t possibly share her house with rats.

Office Politics

I am at work, in an office. My boss is this guy I used to work with at pwc. There is another lady there who is his boss. I am having an argument with him about making the tea. I say I’m not going to do it. I feel as if he is only asking me to make me feel small. We are all wearing black. I am sitting back at my computer, I hve a lot to do and I’m not sure I will get it all done. I am writing.

I go into the bathroom and I see a pile of tea towels on the toilet. I think someone has out them in the toilet to wash them. But then I take them off and see that they were on top of the toilet seat. I sit on the toilet, next to me is a thermostat. It feels really hot in there so I turn it down.

Back at my desk, I keep thinking of Bonnie Langford. She is wearing lots of make-up, she is on a stage. Maybe I’m daydreaming. I have to get all this writing done and I have to keep this woman informed of my progress.

Mum

I am in a large complex, there are white concrete apartments. It could be a hotel complex, but doesn’t seem nice enough. My mum has her walker, it is a dusty path, there is a large green lawn but the grass doesn’t look very lush. She wants to go somewhere, but is being told she has to sit down. I think it is her birthday. I get catch up with her and get her to sit down. She looks confused about what she’s doing there. I think she wanted to come and see me.

A Trip to the Old Bull Ring

I am at a house. I don’t know whose it is. I am holding some pink ballet shoes. One looks smaller than the other, I think I might have two pairs, and adult pair and a child’s pair, one pair inside the other. My niece H. turns up on a pink bike, it looks like she has a second seat with wheels attached to the back. It is sticking out into the road (the house is on a bend in the road), so I move it. Ed. Also arrives on a bike. Gr. shows up driving dads Range rover. She drops something off and drives away. I don’t know why. L. says she must have been an hour and a half early.

I am walking through a building with my sister L. and my niece H.. It looks like it was built in the 60s or 70s. It reminds of the old bull ring in B’ham. We used to go shopping there every Sat with my mum. It is very busy, there are lots of Asian people. We walk down some stairs through all these people to this quiet place where there are some chairs and tables, nobody else is there. There is a patch of green grass outside. We have something to eat.

A Medieval Boys School

I am in al all boys school. It is night, the surroundings look medieval. We are outside in a courtyard. All the boys are standing in lines, the ones at the front are wearing black and holding flags. There place is lit by numerous fires. It is some kind of performance. A man in black I can’t see clearly is conducting. The boys behind the flag bearers are wearing white shirts are younger. They have all decided they are going to rebel. I think there is a lot of fighting. I am walking through this medieval town with one of them, he is dazed and covered in blood. We find a secret place and kiss.

ADDs Anonymous

I am in a large building. I have this drunk guy with me I am helping to stand up (looks like Ph. or Steve Carrell). I’m not sure if he is drunk, part of me thinks he’s just pretending. But we are in a bar and I am trying to move him out of it. I know I have this meeting to get to and I’m afraid something is going to stop us getting there.

It is dark, but I can see this girl on a bike. She is wearing a helmet and doing some dangerous manoeuvres. Cycling along the banisters and down steps. She is doing this to get to our meeting.

I am sitting at some computers with a small group of people. Kate Winslet, Emma and this guy who appears drunk or is pretending to be drunk (looks a bit like Ph. or Steve Carrell. He keeps falling over, I am helping him sit up. We are all plugged into a computer. Emma though can’t get plugged in properly. Kate is trying to help her. I notice there is also something wrong with my own wiring. There are in and out wires, but my out wire isn’t properly connected.

At one point a woman stands up asks me if I’m upset that ‘he’ has made a film?. I think, why would I have brought the others here if I was? Anyway, I’ve done stuff too, I think of the poetry I‘ve written. (Think she is talking about N. my brother in law - he’s written lots of scripts, they keep trying to set me up with him but I just don’t feel it!) I don’t think this woman likes me, (looks a bit like my sister L.). She thinks if she sets me up with N. she can stop me following my dreams.

The Ghost of Christmas

Very long dream this. Dreamt I had arranged to meet RM. My dad drops me off somewhere and I’m waiting for a lift. A black cab turns up. We get to a house and I’m shown in. I turn on the TV and sit on the sofa. This lad comes in, but this isn’t him either. He leaves the room for a moment. I off the sofa and realise I am bleeding, which I think is strange because came off my period only a few days ago. This guy comes back into the room and sees me trying to clean myself up, he groans.

I go into the room next door, which happens to be a bedroom. There is a girl there, she is small with blonde hair. She is getting ready to go to bed. She tells me she called me here because she has something to tell me. I’m confused, I say I thought I was supposed to be meeting RM. She tells me they used to go out for 8 years then he dumped her and she wants to warn me. (sounds like what happened with P.).

I leave the house in the same taxi. I tell him to drop me off wherever it was he picked me up, but he doesn’t listen. At one point he drops me off in a field. There are lots of women there having a picnic. Someone fetches me and brings me over to a group of women. I think they are friends of this girl I just met. A woman sits down next to me, she has dark straight bobbed hair. She says hello. I’m not sure how she knows my name. I think these are all women who were at the same school. One of them looks like KS.

I leave and the taxi takes me to this old medieval town. There are lots of tudor buildings. It’s very pretty. The taxi stops by a pub, it is sunny again. The taxi man says he is going inside and tells me to wait. A Spanish family turn up and try to get into the taxi, I tell them they can’t. they apologise and sit down on the grass and get out a picnic. There are other people sitting on the grass as well.

I get tired of waiting, so I go into the pub. Which turns out to be a very posh restaurant. A group of sailors turns up. The head waiter tells me he will go and look for the taxi man. I follow him. The restaurant turns into a kind of shopping mall. There is a family sitting at a table by a coffee shop. I can music, a piano. There is a live concert going on. I stand by the door and listen for a bit.

When I get outside I see the taxi man is back and Willy Wonka is sitting in the back. He doesn’t want me to get in, so he has put some booster seats on the seat next to him. I shift them over and get in. The taxi drops me off at another house. It is a modern terraced house. The driver turns out to be RMs dad. RM shows up, but he looks like Billy Fielding. They are both dressed in black. I think they must be funeral directors. We are standing in the front garden of the house. It is a small garden. The family who lived here have moved. There are two trees in the garden. One looks as if it has recently been put there, another is being dug up. RM tells me that the family want to take the trees with them.

Fun Run

I have gone running with sis C. and her husband Ch. We are all resting on a bench, we are very tired. I’m amazed we managed to run so far. Someone is saying we didn’t run fast enough. I think we did very well though. It was to do with a drink, some water. Clair is rubbing her ankle, she is saying she didn’t realise what the water was, she couldn’t see the meteor in it. I think it must have had special qualities.

The scene changes to a suburban road. It is sunny and the trees that line the road are green. There are birds in the trees. This one large black bird (a crow?) is chasing the other birds. Most of them are able to fly away. I pick one who is left out of the tree. It is a baby bird. I am sitting in an armchair with this bird (in the street!).

I think I am flicking through a magazine or watching something on TV. I see Kate Winslet in a black dress, and her hair has been straightened and she is wearing very bare make-up. There is another woman there with long black hair very similarly dressed. I think they look like the women out of an advert for French perfume.

I see a crystal shimmering sea. It is beautiful. I am standing on a cliff looking down on it. I think I see a green light in the water. Someone else is there with me. A man. We have a task to do, but it is very dangerous. I think we have come to get something.

Back to School

I’m at school. I’m in a long queue. We are taking an exam. I think it maths. I’m nervous because I haven’t done any revision. I am sitting next to a girl who has laptop. The test isn’t as long as I thought it would be. I think most of us have laptops.

Later I am in another queue. We are going to have our feet examined. I don’t like people messing with my feet. Also it doesn’t seem to be necessary. There is young boy with dark hair in front of me. He tells me he is going to live with one of the teachers. This teacher is a man, he lives alone in a house near the school. It is difficult to see or get to, it looks like quite dense woodland.

I am on the side of a steep hill. There is lots of undergrowth, ferns and moss, I can’t see where I’m stepping. There are some other school kids with me and one person who I think is in charge.

There are two girls sitting on a crowded beach in their uniform. It’s not particularly nice weather though. They are smoking roll ups. They tell me they didn’t do any revision either. They don’t seem to care what grades they get. They are talking about a teacher, one says ‘he thought I was asking him if he wanted a smoke’. They look quite grown up for their age, I think they are probably doing their GCSEs.

I am back at school. I am sitting next to a girl, she is talking to her friend about having cancer. I join the conversation and tell her about my mum. There is a man listening, he looks foreign, he has dark skin and black hair. He is giving her advice. She asks her if you can be cured. Her friend tells it goes into remission but you’re never cured. I tell her that if she thinks it has come back she must do something straight away. The man agrees with me. But she doesn’t want to listen to what I am saying. She turns her chair away from me.

A Television Career

I am in a large room. The curtains are closed the are three or four beds in the room. The Golden Girls are each there. They are each trying to get to sleep. I know they are on my team. I have told them how bad my memory is and what I need to do to compensate for it. (Are we on a quiz? Or maybe I‘m an actress) I can see Rose the most clearly. I go outside I am walking through crowds. I don’t know where I’m going. Rose keeps appearing in front of me, like a vision, she’s not really there.

There is a stage, with different acts gathered on it. I think it is a talent contest. There are some girls who are pole dancers. They remind me of the group that was on the x-factor last year. The blond one is virtually naked, she is wearing nothing except something on her chest, but it doesn’t cover anything. A few of the others are almost decent. I am amazed how she can stand there not the least bit self-conscious. There is a presenter with a microphone interviewing them.

Outside the School Gate

I am sitting on the pavement near to the entrance of my old secondary school. I am doing some work, drawing or writing. I don’t know why I’ve chosen to do it sitting on the pavement. People are walking around me. A coach pulls up, some children get on and it drives away. A muslim girl smiles at me, she is very young and heavily pregnant. We chat a bit. I like her. She is walking with her family. Her mum and dad catch up and she introduces them to me and I shake hands with them, they are nice and friendly. Then they carry on.

More Family Disagreements

I dreamt of my mum. She is standing in the kitchen, she looks taller than she was. She is standing at the cooker stirring a saucepan. She and my dad are having a disagreement. She marches out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

Everyone is at the restaurant. L. and C. are sitting opposite each other at the same table. My dad is sitting at the next table. It is a large room, there are lots of guests. I’m not sure why my dad has organised such a big gathering.

I think I am standing outside, near to the restaurant. My dad is with me. Something is happening that I need to tell him. There are some dodgy looking men hanging about. There is a truck near by.

I walk into a hall, there is a stage at one end. There is furniture lying about and lots of disgruntled people. I tell them we should take the furniture. It looks like an auction. My dad is hesitant. I’m not sure why, maybe it isn’t ours to take, but there is a lorry outside. I can see a chest of drawers lying on its side, it is made of real wood, it looks antique. I take something out to the lorry and some of the men follow my example.

A Wedding Present

I am in a house. It is night, my sister C. is there. She is unhappy about something. I find her sitting on the kitchen floor smoking. I’m trying to persuade her to stop but she wont. She is talking about getting a present. Either Mum is there or will be there or has an opinion about something. We are in a shop. There is a sale on. We both buy something. I have brought something on a clothes hanger. Clair is giving me a funny look, I’m not sure what I’ve done. When we get back to the house she locks me out. The key looks like the same key in my dream last night - the red round one to my dads back door.

We are in a church. My dad and Ch. Are smiling. Ch. Is wearing a grey shiny suit. Clair is upset. I don’t know what is going on. It looks like a wedding.

Escape to the Country

I am walking through the countryside. There is a woman I meet with dark hair. She looks a bit like M.. I have just moved here and am walking through the village, meeting different couples. I went down one cul-de-sac and it looked like there was a party going on inside. It looks like quite a sophisticated party with wine glasses and the people are all dressed up. On the way to this woman’s house I meet one couple. The lady has blonde hair and is wearing a black fur coat. The man looks older than her, he has grey hair. I feel uneasy, I don’t like it here. This woman is dressed down, her house looks like a farm. There is a dog, I don’t think he’s very happy though. She calls to him. I don’t think she wants me to stroke him. I carry on walking.

I am back in the countryside. I am very concerned about the animals I see. It all feels a bit like Stepford Wives, something is going on but everything looks normal. Maybe the animals can sense what’s going on. There is a big official governmental gathering going on at someone’s house. I think they must be a politician. There are lots of security men everywhere and big cars with flags stuck to their bonnets. I am with a group of people, it all feels very ‘Matrix’ like. I’m not sure what we are there to do but I have a gun. There are two of us who are new, we are with this tall lad in a tatty looking jumper. I know that we are going to be caught and that the security men have spotted us but we’re going to see how far we can get anyway.

On The Run

I am going into space. My sister L. is there too. We have jobs to do. We both get into individual pods. It is pitch black inside the pod which is shaped a bit like an acorn. Once inside I have to take some clothes off. The it shoots up. I can see two stars I am heading for.

I am in a car park. It looks like one in Cambridge I used to use. I am reversing to get out of a space and narrowly miss some black steel posts. There is a queue to get out.

I am standing in a car park by a pub. I am in the countryside. The pub is on a narrow country road. An entourage of vehicles is passing slowly. They are escorting a very low flying, black plane. It looks like the stealth jet the Americans were developing, only much smaller. It is black and there don’t appear to be any windows. I stand by the side of the road, one of it’s wings stretches out and almost hits me but I duck.

There are some men in the car park, they have sticks, one has a pickaxe. They are hitting something, but I can’t see what. Another man joins in, and one of the men hits his arm with his pickaxe. There is blood going everywhere.

I am at the home of a guy I used to work with, J.. It is a ground floor apartment, it looks massive. He used to rent a house with his girlfriend but she isn’t here. It looks nice and very modern, it is all open plan. I am lying in bed, I think he is working. He keeps saying he is going to join me, but I am worried because I haven’t shaved my legs(?!).

I leave and go over to my car, but as I’m going some more people turn up. One of them is Phoebe out of Friends. She calls over to me and I go back in. I am in bed again, we are talking (me and Phoebe). She has a pile of new books with her. I think one is CWG. I think she is flirting with me, but I’m still worried I haven’t shaved my legs. We spend the whole time talking to each other, it is nearly daylight, she picks me up and runs with me to the door. She is so happy and laughing. But she can’t open the door, it is locked. I tell her to let me try and she puts me down. It looks like the old key to my dads house.

I manage to open the door and we run to her car. I have the feeling the whole time that there are these invisible police we are all trying to get away from. We get to her car two other cars have blocked her in. I tell we can use my car. There is a lot of rubbish in my car but she doesn’t mind, she climbs in over the drivers seat.

It is dark again. We are driving through a built up area. It looks like Erdington where I used to live. I am trying to go faster but when I put my foot on the accelerator nothing happens. I look for the fuel dial on the dashboard but I can’t see it. I think I must be out of fuel so we pull into a garage, I‘ve used it lots before, but it has changed. There are lots of bollards. I’m not sure which is the entrance or which is the exit, I go the wrong way at first and have to reverse.

I tell Phoebe I need to use the toilet. I go past a newspaper stand and see a newspaper article about some transvestites that have been arrested. There isn’t a reason, they have been arrested for who they are. The garage has become a very big place, I can see reporters, and people pushing the men. Some of them are heading for the ladies like me. They go down some stairs, I follow. Once I’m inside the toilets I see these two girls one has taken off her t-shirt and bra, one has taken off her knickers, they are showing off to the men. I yell at them and tell them to put their clothes back on. They are young girls, quite posh, they seem nice otherwise.

Mum Visits Us

I am at my dads house in the back room. C. and L. are there. There are toys and mess on the floor, they are playing a game on the television. I am angry about something and stand in front of the television and yell at them. They tell me someone is here. It is mum in her pyjamas. She walks into the room. I step over the toys and mess to hug her. She feels cold. I ask her how long she is able to maintain a physical presence. She doesn’t answer. She looks very calm and content. I wish she hadn’t arrived just as I was yelling at C. and L..

Criminals and an Abandoned Baby

I am walking down a dark street. It is a residential area in a city. I see a toddler on the pavement. I am worried he might wander into the road, I look around but I can’t see his parents so I pick him up. He looks like a smaller version of A., chubby and blonde. I carry back towards my flat which is close by. I think he must of walked out of his house and I will find his parents. The only person I see is a woman in her kitchen. I’m surprised, it is a large expensive looking kitchen and this is a bit of a rough area.

I shout to her through the window and she opens a window. She is in her 50s/60s with bleached hair that is tied back. She is wearing make-up and nice clothes. I ask her if she knows who the parents are. She gives me their names which I don’t catch and tells me they lived round here. I ask her were. She tells me they moved about five months ago. I realise the child must have been abandoned. The woman’s husband arrives in a black van, I can‘t see him though. She comes out the back door and gets in. She tells me I’m lucky she was here, that people are normally here at this time of night. I have a suspicion they are crooks.

I see a motorway. A woman is on the grass verge getting on a motorbike. It is black. She is wearing a red checked shirt. She puts on a black leather jacket and a black helmet. There are also some men there, there are wearing black clothes and have black bikes. There is a television presenter there, I think it’s the man off Escape to the Country. He is reporting on something. (I think they might be crooks also). She moves off, I think they are having some kind of race, they are going very fast, I’m afraid one of them will fall off. One of the men manages to overtake her. The scenery doesn’t look English. The motorway cuts through evergreen forests.

I see Tony Robinson. He is in a hospital talking to camera. There is an empty bed behind him. I can’t hear what he’s saying. When he has finished what he’s saying, the camera continues running. He looks a bit anxious and is biting his lip. I think he looks a bit like I do. A man is brought in and put into the bed behind Tony. His leg is in plaster and he has lots of bandages on. He looks young, he black hair. I think he might have been one of the bikers. He pulls out a microphone from the side of the bed and starts singing loudly at the camera. Tony gets angry and tells him to stop.

House Hunting and various

Not very coherent dream. Very rambling. I begin at my Dads house, we talking, he’s giving me a choice between two options, not sure what they were though.

I am in the back garden. There is a large dog lying on the lawn, grey with a tight curly coat and a red collar. He has come from down the road. I see that there are no fences between our neighbours gardens and that’s how he got in. He gets up and jumps into K.s garden. I think he is going back home.

I’m asleep in Graces room. I am wearing my black underwear with the white lace edging, I’m admiring my figure in bed. My Dad shouts me to get up.

There is a girl now working at my Dads factory, he is talking to her on the phone. He hands the phone to me. She is very young, she has long dark straight hair. She is new there. I think my dad wants me to be friends with her. I’m asking her questions, if she has done this or that. I’m trying to tell her what there is to do there, but she is suspicious and thinks I’m a mole for my dad and that I’m trying to find out if she’s been skiving. I ask her if she’s been into town on her lunch break. She says no. I say it takes 15 minutes to walk into town so she’s only have about half an hour to play with.

I am with two women, we are looking around a house. I think one is J. from my art therapy group. The other is a friend but I don’t know her very well. I think an old man used to live there, he must have decorated it himself. He had very strange taste. There are book shelves lining the upstairs landing. The wall behind them is red with vertical strips of black tape. The books are old, they are bound in black leather with gold embossing. The house feels a bit creepy to me. I don’t think I’d have liked this man. It is a very narrow corridor. I see J. come out of a room further down, she is smiling, she seems to like the place.

I am outside, I am on some kind of skateboard with handles. I have caught up with these two women. I’m not sure where they have been or where we’re going. It is a grass area with a path going through the middle of it, next to a middle class housing estate. The path slopes down then up.

We are in a house, I’m not sure if this is the same house or a different one. We are looking at a bedroom. Everything in the room is bare wood, the floor and the furniture. J. likes it. I think whoever lived here must have been a carpenter.

I am in some public toilets (not sure at what point this is in the dream). I have some shopping bags with me. I go into one cubical I am trying to shut there door, but people can still see in. I go into a different cubical. I am trying to put my bags by the door to keep it shut, but it seems to far away. The shape of the cubicles looks wrong.

Twitter

Strange dream. I’m not in a real place. I think I’m in the sky. I see blue sky and starts, like the background I’ve just changed my twitter profile. I see a small square photograph of a woman with brown wavy hair with a centre parting. It looks like a young version of my mum. It looks like the kind of image people put on their profile of themselves. She is smiling. I am scrolling to the top of a long list of messages. There is another list of messages, one or two look like they are popping out, like a game of jenga,

My sister L. is there. I am telling her about a job I’ve applied for. She says it will be okay, I’m not going to do what so and so did.

I see a guy drive his car into the wall of a pub. There was one guy drinking a pint by the window but he gets away with just scratches.

On Holiday

I am staying in a large house. There is a massive staircase and a large hall. The carpets are red. The man who owns is quite old and grumpy. I think it is a hotel, or bed and breakfast.

I am in a swimming pool. It’s very large. I am with some women I know, they are actresses. They are rehearsing something. Rose from the Golden Girls is there. She is playing a part normally played by Julie Walters in one of Victoria Woods’ sketches. There is a guy there, I think he likes me, I somehow manage to swim over the top of him. I have my eye mask (I sometimes wear it when I go to bed), I think this is why I swim over him. I don’t have it on the whole time.

I think I am on holiday here and the house is where I’m staying. It is a lovely outdoor pool and the weather is really warm. It’s so big at one point I think I’m swimming in an ocean (a tropical one, it’s very calm and blue). I can see boats and water jets. There are some girls here I used to know from King Eddies. Me and a friend I’m with are playing a game with them. I haven’t played it before, but I’m okay at it. We have to throw a ball at a net.

I have my eye mask on again, I am swimming lengths with my friend. At one point I take lift them up and my friend says see, it’s not so bad. The pool attendant comes to tell us we have to get out and we swim to the side, and wait a bit before getting out. I can see green fields and it is sunny. We are the last to get out, I don’t want to get out. When the pool is drained it suddenly looks much smaller and there I a surprising amount of dirt at the bottom of it. It looks really, really deep. My friend is an attractive woman, not sure if she is older or younger than me, she has looked after herself. She brown hair just past her shoulders. She is very nice.

Back in Ramsey

I have gone back to Ramsey to see Jane. I am at her house. I think I have done a session with him. Matthew is sitting on the floor in the hall playing with a truck. Jane is in the kitchen making him dinner. I walk past him up the stairs and say, ‘Mmmm, that smells nice, yum yum.’ He repeats ‘Yum, yum.’ I am really surprised, I call Jane, but she seems cool about it so I conclude this isn’t unusual. She is telling me about a girl who works for them. She pays her to take Matthew out to places to keep him quiet. She says this girl is okay but they’re not really that pleased with her.

A Student Again

I am living in a student house with three other boys. I walk into the lounge. There is a man in the armchair watching television. He is an older man. One of the lads is sitting on the sofa reading a newspaper (reminds me of James?). The other two lads are sitting in armchairs on the other side of the room. I’m unsure about saying hello, so I say it softly as I sit down in an armchair next to J. But he doesn’t look up. Nobody says anything. There is a murder mystery on. Before this I was doing something involving the boys, because as I enter I think, now we’ve got to know each other we can talk. But we don’t.

At some point before this I see my mum, she is in a garden looking after some children. I think they’re my nieces.

In the next scene I am sitting in the back of car. The car is parked behind the house in the garden. Beyond the garden are open fields. My Nan is in the passenger seat. She is having a go at me about living in a house with men. I say we each have our own room and there is also a another lounge if I want to sit by myself. Then she says it’s okay to cut trees down for paper (hemp makes very good paper, trees are too precious to be cutting down for paper). I really flip, I ask her is she knows how much of the Amazon forest disappears each year just to make paper, and how much extra CO2 goes into the atmosphere as a result.

Rehearsing

Myself and some others are hanging around the outside of a building. We are trying to get inside. There is a man there who seems to be monitoring who goes in. Inside we rehearse an act on stage. There is a bit of singing. It is for a competition. There are other people doing the same thing.

There is this black guy who reminds me of Sisqo in BB. I am in bed with him. I want to go to sleep but we won’t accept it when I say no. He has hold of one of my breast and keeps squeezing and rubbing it really fast. He says he knows what I like. Eventually I get him to stop so I can go to sleep.

Proper Work

The first part of my dream I am at work in this huge office. I can’t remember much of it. Not much work seems to be getting done. I’m very suspicious of the people there. There a few people there I know but never worked with. Egg, form school. I think they’re having some kind of party, I have a glass of beer at one point. There are a group of men there I don’t like. I keep moving around to try and get away form them. They are trying to get me to do something but I don’t want to.

In the second part of my dream I am working for Jane again. I am at her house. Hilary the other tutor is there as well. Jane keeps asking her about ‘Frim’ but doesn’t get an answer. I am standing in the kitchen and Hilary goes upstairs. Jane goes after her to get an answer. Frim is a place. Then I am driving a car. It is a big silver car. I’m worried about getting down their narrow lane in it. Jane is sitting in the passenger seat, we are both wrapped up warm.

Car Journey

I am in a car, a woman is driving - she looks a bit like Suzanne Varley. I have a friend who is sitting in the front. He has short dark hair. Looks a bit like Neil or the Tourettes guy I knew. We are driving down this straight road, down a steep hill. There is a police car heading towards us. We have to pull into the next lane, as we do another car in the third lane decides to pull into the same lane and we narrowly miss colliding.

I’m not sure if this is the same journey now. The weather looks different and the light is different. We are approaching a round about, just before the round about there is a turning off, I can see a bridge further down. We continue onto the roundabout. There is a coach on the roundabout. It looks very small though as if it has shrunk. I think she has done all the talking. I wonder how she can be friends with him when he doesn’t speak to her. She doesn’t seem to mind that no ones speaking though.

Before that I think I was in a coffee shop. I have a nap at some point when I wake up I’m trying to stretch my arms but they go all over the place. I think, this is what it must be like to have dyspraxia.

At some point, I think it was earlier on somewhere, I am in a coffee shop. A tall woman sits opposite me. I think it is Dorothy out of the Golden Girls. She stands up and takes a piece of paper form between a gap in the wall. She is looking at the man standing at the till by the door when she does this. I’m not sure what the paper is.

Another Wedding

Horrible dream. There is a mouse running around my old bedroom at my dads. He has a bloody head and an ear missing. There is a wedding going on. I keep trying to go back into my bedroom but have to come out again.

I am shopping for an outfit not sure who it’s for. I am in a charity shop. I see a pink suit only the bottoms are shorts not trousers. My Nan is there , she doesn’t think they are suitable. I think they might be for my Mum, they are her size. (maybe we are preparing for my brothers wedding?).

My Dad wants me to return something to a shop for him. He tells me to make up a story. I tell him I need the receipt. I don’t know why he’s scared to do it himself. He hands me the receipt and hides behind a column. The man at the counter gives me the money back without any questions. It is some kind of household appliance.

Not sure if this was before or after. We are sitting at a table in a restaurant. Dorothy form the Golden Girls is there. There is a small dance floor. She is having a good time, she dances with someone then they come back to the table. I don’t know why are they are happy, I think they are celebrating something. Someone else at the table says something though that makes them realise they are not as fortunate as they thought.

A Wedding

I am by the sea. The weather is gloomy. The waves on the sea are huge. The sea bed dips sharply by the coast and the sea is very deep. I think I am beach combing. There are a couple of boxes I find, they have my cosmetics in them?

At some point I am in a multi-storey car park. It’s night. I think I have already parked. I am walking out of the car park.

Next I am at my Dad’s house. I am getting married to Pa., there is a wedding on at the church before ours, I’m really nervous, plus I’ve managed to get some food down me. I’m wearing jeans underneath my dress?! My dress is creamy white, like a very pale gold. We are all waiting to leave at my Dads house. There are lots of guests there. Steve, Dad’s friend is there.

I am nervous because I also have to give a speech. My old film studies tutor Judy is there. She hands me a script. It is all very last minute, I have not done much practising. I also have to sing. It’s not a very difficult part though. There are other people there also who are singing other parts. At one point we are all sitting round a rectangular table (like the tables they have at school). I think this is where I spill food on myself.

My Dad looks very happy. He tells me I’m just nervous because of all the waiting and hanging around. A lady comes out and tells us we have to go outside and wait there for five minutes before leaving for the church.

Outside I go and stand on the steps of our neighbour Keith’s house. He isn’t there anymore, I am going to live there.

At one point during the dream I think it’s Ch. I’m going to marry (my sister’s husband!). I look at my hand, I have no rings on (I have a phobia about jewellery). I imagine the priest as an old friendly man, I don’t need to worry about I’m saying, I just have to repeat what he says.

In my image of Pa. he has lost weight and is looking good. But it’s a frozen image, as if he’s standing in a photograph. It is an idealised image. When I thought of Ch. He was unshaven, and I think his hair was a bit greasy. Maybe this dream is telling me I have an idealised image of Pa.. That I’m in love with an idea rather than a real person. He did turn out to be a bit fickle, and too easily influenced by other people’s opinion, I think because he enjoys the attention they give him.