Another Wedding

I am at a wedding. I think it’s someone Spanish. The are lots of men from the same family all wearing similar black suits. They are all speaking in a foreign language. A girl shows up, all she is wearing is a bikini with a white jumper or cardigan and stilettos. She used to know one of the men. He tells her to leave. For some reason I think she knows my twin.

There is a dome. I am inside this barrier. My dad is there. It looks a bit like a zoo pen. The autistic boy I used to look after is there. The space is filled with furniture and stuff, like a room. He comes up to me for a hug. I play with him for a bit then leave.

I have got this incredible gun, it is enormous and electronic. I carry it with me to the wedding. I am carrying it while I walk back too. I am with a friend, but I don’t know who it is, possibly my younger sister. We have left a bit early. On the way out I saw an Asian woman in bed, her daughter was in bed with her too. I’m not sure what’s wrong with her. Male members of her family are sitting on the bed. I give her something as I leave, not sure what. Her daughter smiles and acknowledges it. We don’t say anything though.

Outside it is starting to rain. Then I turns to sleet, it is grey and slushy. It looks like the bicarbonate of soda I dropped on the floor yesterday then spilt water over. It is spitting down on us. The streets look empty, there aren’t many people about. The pavements and the buildings are all made out of a beautiful stone. The buildings are large and architecturally beautiful. I think we must be in a city.

I don’t know when this part happens but there are two people, a woman and a boy having a competition. They have insects crawling all over them. The boy is determined to win. The woman looks like she is about to give up though. There are two presenters standing near by. It reminds me of I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.

I am back in the city. Me and a friend are being followed by David Beckham. He wants to catch up with us but is too shy. I realise he wants to be friends with us. There is a group of people near by, they are watching to see what we do. We stop at the bottom of some steps, we can hear him talking to himself, saying he wished we’d talk to him. He reaches the top of the steps and I reach out my hand, he is a bit hesitant, then he comes down the steps.

My New Flat

I am living on an estate. My Mum and Dad are there, living together. My Mum is sitting in an armchair in her white night gown knitting. My brother Ed lives with them still. I go round because it’s Christmas. I give my mum a hug and a kiss. It’s not very tidy, it looks dark and cramped. I don’t think my Dad has managed to get rid of much.

I see a flat. It’s mine, I’m living there. The furniture is all in the same style. It is metal and painted silver frames with beige imitation wood. Flat pack stuff. The walls are light magnolia. There is a lot of it. I love all the shadows the metal work is casting on the wall. The kitchen is off the lounge. I don’t see a bedroom. There is a gas hob in the lounge. I keep trying to blow it out but it keeps reigniting.

I can see spiders. I am in my flat I look up at the ceiling and the long leg of a spider dangling from a cobweb. I am holding a spider, I’m afraid it’s going to bite me. It’s very big and hairy.

I am walking through the estate, I think I am catching a bus. I see Emma, a girl my sister went to school with, she used to live down the road. There is also another person with us, a girl, but I don’t know who. I think I may have gone back to school, and I may be singing again.

I am taking a walk. To look at some other houses. I find this one place, on a board walk. Someone has painted their ideal home on the wall. This would be the persons second home. It reminds me of one I saw on Escape to the Country the other day, which was a renovated cottage, part of which was a dove cote.

While I am looking at this painting a dog runs up to me. He is barking a lot. It is Barney. He has just had a hair cut. I can see his skin is very pink and his nose is runny. I feel his neck and he is very warm. I consider taking him to a vet and leaving the bill with the owners. I want to take him somewhere with me, but there is another dog there and he keeps barking at it.

ABA Tutor

I am sitting in a room. I feel as if I have gone back in time. I see a television advert for some slip on shoes. They look like the sort of shoes my Nan wears, but this advert is showing young women wearing them. It says the shoes are practical but also attractive and that they will impress your boyfriend. There isn’t much furniture in the room, just some chairs and a table. I am sitting on a chair in a very proper posture, my knees together and my back straight. There is a child in the room I am observing, it looks a bit like me. It is about three or four years old, has thick honey blonde hair to just below the shoulders, but it isn’t smooth and silky, it looks a bit messy and unkempt (like my sisters hair). The child finds some toys under my chair and goes into another room, I think she is going to put them away but she comes out with more toys. I realise then the child is autistic, it reminds me of Matthew. I take some of the toys back into the toy room and we go back into the other room. That’s when the mother comes in.

I am in my bedroom, I see some animals outside. They look like a cross between goats and deer. One of them comes into my room through the window. It is very shy, it is ginger and white (like the cat downstairs). It tries to go out of my door but it can’t open it. After a few moments it comes back to me and lets me stroke it. It has a slightly alien looking face. But very beautiful. I get to hug him and hold him.

Friends Again

I am friends with my old school friend KC again. We are waiting for a bus. I am walking up the lane, holding books in my arms and with a heavy bag. Sometimes she walks with me, sometimes she is already at the bus stop. It is sunny and green and leafy.

There is a big house. My friend lives here. There is an older man, in his fifties who owns the house and there are a couple of women who work there. They don’t like KC. I’m visiting. These women seem to be looking for ways to get her into trouble. I think they are just jealous because this old man likes her. He doesn’t notice what is going on. There is a flood in the house. KC has got her shoes wet and her skirt. I’m afraid she’s going to get into trouble but she doesn’t. This man seems to think she’s younger than she is. One of us is saying she is 36.

I am walking around a housing estate. There is a castle in the middle of it. There is a group of us. I think KC is here to start with, then we all get separated. I can hear a man with a New Zealand accent being interviewed. He is saying he never used to believe in something but he does now. He was supposed to be going somewhere, I think he’s a sports man, it was something to do with sport, but he couldn’t go and so the Prince rang him up. A news reporter is telling us that you can now be photographed from up to 600 miles away and that it’s not illegal, although they were trying to stop it.

I go inside this large building with this group of people. It looks like a factory now. Something is going wrong with it. Me and this man, who looks like the doctor from satsung, are sitting at a computer, we are trying to fix something. I don’t really know what I’m doing though. He is printing something out. I don’t think we’re getting anywhere with it. The others are still walking round the building. We are waiting for them. I am looking for a way to get out. I see some pipes, they look rusty and broken in places.

Rebuilding a Home

I am walking. I am with someone, a young men. First we are walking along a road, then we come to a round about. There are some fields and some trees, but no buildings. The road looks new.

I come to some land, it might have been built on in the past. But now it is a hole in the ground with large chunks of walls and things sticking out, it hasn’t been filled in very well. Moss is growing over the walls, so it has been like this for a while. It is very dangerous to walk across, there crevices and steep drops. There is a road and some houses on the other side, this ground is kept private though by a hedge, there is a gap in the hedge leading to the road, there would also have been a private drive in front of the houses that have been demolished.

A small boy, is walking towards me from across the road and through the gap (it is very wide). He looks a bit strange, he is taking fairy steps. A small white dog, I think it’s a poodle crosses the road to see me too, I stroke the dog. The boy is about 10. I cross the road with both of them to take them home. There is a man working on his car outside one of the houses. There is no front garden just a space for the car. This is the boys dad. He is nice. He tells me we can go inside. I go through the front door, it is dark inside. His mum is there. She takes the boy and puts him to bed. Then she comes down and makes us a cup of tea. She is chatting to me from the kitchen. I think I am sitting in the dinner room, it is dark so I can’t tell and there is lots and lots of furniture.

I am outside again. I have walked to a field. I think this woman might have come with me. She had been complaining about her husband and how he doesn’t talk to her. In this field people are building their own homes. A couple, they are quite old are telling us how easy it is. The man is fixing up their water supply, he says it doesn’t cost much and it only takes a few days. They’re not proper houses though, they look like large trailers.

Latoya

I see a seashore. It is a rocky, but the sea is really blue. Parts of it seem to be made up of photos. I am with someone. I think it’s a man. We are lifting up some of the photos to look behind them, but all there is darkness behind them.

I am friends with a black girl. I think it might be a girl I used to work with. She used to like films about sea animals that killed people. We go to see a question and answer session at a work skills conference. We watch from a balcony, the speakers are all talking in jargon and I don’t think they’re saying anything useful. I think it’s funny how seriously they take themselves. One of them looks like Lenny Henry. Later we see him from behind going into a lift, he has greying hair. Everywhere is very dark, the walls are dark the floor is dark. I’m not sure if this girl likes me. I see her reading a newspaper that is on the floor, I am talking to her and she is nodding and making noises but I don’t think she is listening to me.

I am walking through a library and I hear two foreign voices, they sound very high pitched as if they are imitating the Birmingham accent but they are Polish. It is two men.

Ley Lines

There is a small village, most of the houses are along one road. My books are here on book shelves. There are tubes along the shelves, and there are red lights that keep flashing, I think they are telling me there is a snake there. I am climbing to get on the bookshelves, because there are loads of concrete tubes on the ground and I see a very large snake in one of them. There is a woman there, she is telling me that the people didn’t want to live there because they were afraid of a snake, then someone found a 20ft python and so they started building. But some people still there is a snake there. I agree with them, and I don’t know how to get home because I’m afraid to move.

Florida

I am at my old secondary school King Eddies. Everyone is in class, the corridors are empty. I find boxes of stuff, I am looking through them. I see some girls I used to be at school with. They are being very friendly.

I am in my bedroom room, there is a shower hanging from the ceiling but nothing to catch the water underneath. I'm not particulary concerned.

I am at Matthews school. He is having a meltdown. He’s Mum, Jane is there. The teacher is asking how much ABA he actually does. Jane looks upset. I think it is lunchtime and everyone is in the hall.

My Mum is in the room, she is knitting. I am kneeling on the floor looking at a large globe. I am spinning it around looking for America. I find America, I am looking for Florida. There are two states of Florida one on the east coast and one on the west coast. I see a black plane flying from east to west.

House Warming

I am in a house, it has one floor and two bedrooms. There are lots of people here. Most of them I know from the past. There is one space. It is grey and there is a hole in the ground. Sister G and Sister L are there. Someone has laid down sheets of metal to cover most of the hole. It is a small space, like a lift, there are also walls of metal. I am walking carefully around the hole, so are some others. Someone drops a stone down the hole but we don’t hear it hit the bottom. I volunteer to look after sister G. I ask her if she wants to live with me and she says yes. We leave the lift.

Sister L is walking around with barely anything on. She reminds me of Christina Agrilera. I walk into the lounge and there is a group of Asian guys. I used to know one of them, he is sitting on the floor, we used to work together at PwC. He has lost a load of weight. He throws his arms out to me and I hug him. He is Sikh, he is wearing a turban.

I go into the bedroom. There are some women there. They are lesbians. We are hanging out together. I keep seeing my sister L walk in and out of the room. I think she wants to take sister G away.

Back to School

I am standing outside, either in a play ground or a car park. It is surrounded by tall, old leafy trees and some other old Victorian houses. The sky looks dark, which makes me think it might be about to rain. We have a teacher, she is very good (Lisa?).

Now I am in a small room, there are a couple of men with me. We are sitting at computers. One of the men shows me his special remote control. It is shaped so he can hold it in one hand and operate it with the same hand and he doesn’t have to get up.

There is also a larger classroom, with rows of desks. The teacher is walking up and down the middle of the room, she is here to replace someone else - I didn’t like this other person, but I like this new teacher.

Family Affairs

I am riding a donkey, it is a bit small for me. There are two other people here. They are riding horses. I want a go on a horse, this person lets me, it’s fun, I’m not scared. We are riding up and down a field.

I have fallen out with my dad. I have sneaked into the house through the back garden. I am sitting on a bed with Kate. My sister is in a tent in the same room, she keeps poking her arm out as she speaks. She says they are all going camping together and that Jason is going too. I don’t think I’ve been invited. They are only going for two days, they have to leave at a particular time or else they won’t have any time there and they’ll have to come straight back (reminds me of the trip to Wales when I fell out with my other sister). My dad arrives home and they all go back downstairs. Brother E comes back and gives me his new telephone number.

I am sitting at a piano. I am having a lesson with a man dressed in a black suit with tails. He opens a complicated piece of music. We play a duet, I don’t really know what I’m doing but fingers seem to and I keep up for a bit, then I lose my place. I ask him to go back to something simpler otherwise my lesson will be a waste of time. He opens up the book right at the beginning and I groan.

I am in a very large shop super market. It is summer. Or it could be IKEA. There is a woman there in a suit bossing me about. I go out into the car park. Kate is there and my sister. She is giving Kate some financial advice. I think this is strange given how bad she is with money. She is saying that if you have costs in the future and you don’t start saving for them now, you won’t be entitled to any help. I say if you haven’t got any money to start saving then it’s not your fault. I walk off. I have a problem with my right leg. It is dead, and I am having to force it to move. I come across some people in the car park. I used to know them. I think Chris is there. One of the women I don’t know. I’m telling her about my leg. She says they had noticed I used to stomp with my right leg. I ask her what she means. Someone behind me says, ’she means stomp!’. Which I don’t think is very nice, I want her to show me, she explains a bit more.

Dungeons and Dragons

We are in two teams. I don’t know who the other people in my team are. Our team leaders aren’t very nice. I don’t think we have much choice whose team we are in. I see our team leaders, it looks like the opening to a film. It is set in medieval times, they are all men - some are in chain mail, and some are in armour. They have all gathered outside a church. One of the people in charge of the men is ‘The Black Adder’.

I am standing on a platform. There is an American couple, they ask me which platform they need to go to catch a train. I point to the train, luckily it is on the next platform. They start walking towards it, it is turning around, unfortunately there are only two carriages and it leaves before they reach it. They don’t seem too concerned. I hear the woman say ’oh well’.

At one point I am outside, in a suburban setting with a young man, it is sunset, we are on our way to this room I think (could be Andy). At another time I see a Spanish street at sunset.

My team and I are all in one room, I think we are locked in here. There are some bunk beds, they look my old bunk beds. I can see lots of spiders and cobwebs in my bed. I think this is part of a television programme like BB. There are lots of sweets hanging near my bed that you can have if you work out something. The other people in the room are men, they look a bit rough with stubble. I don’t know them. They could be soldiers, reminds me of men who play games like dungeons and dragons.

Interrogation

I am in the countryside with my Brother E and my Mum. It is a green landscape with lots of trees. We are standing in a river, except the water has gone and there are only puddles left. I pick up a smooth rectangular stone. It has carving on it on both sides. One side though is painted, there is a girl in the image. There are also some hieroglyphics at the bottom of it. I know it is explaining something very complicated even though it is a teaching aid for children. I think the stone is part of a computer, and also is used to teach children about computers. I think it was made a long, long time ago.

I am being interrogated. I am in a square room. There are some people behind a desk asking me questions. All around the room are hooks, like the heads of coat hangers, in a line around the walls. I think they are on some kind of conveyor belt. I get hooked onto one of these by something around my neck. I end up in this room twice, it is only the second time that I get hung up.

After or before, I am standing on pavement, on a hill. It is sunset, there are houses on either side of me, but we are surrounded by countryside. I see a large yellow and black dragon fly on my thigh. I flick it off. There are lots of buzzing insects in the air. I run back up the hill towards this interrogation room.

I am in a small military aircraft. My mum was there. It was very basic, everything was grey and functional, I could see into the cockpit from where I was sitting on a padded bench/sofa. Next to me is a girl with dark hair making out with President Clinton. I am quite surprised when he starts touching me, but I like it, and my only concern is that my mum will see. When I open my eyes though it is Ronan Keating and we are together in the back of a black cab in a seaside town. I exclaim, ‘But you’re married!’. He frowns and tells me not to talk about it. He loos very happy otherwise, he is wearing a tight white t-shirt, he’s very muscular, but there is something about him that reminds me of PP. I think he has a small grey moustache.

Crystal Brain

I think I am in India. I walk up to a white iron gate, there are walls all around the complex. I can see moss growing on it. It looks like a very old place, at first I don’t think anybody is here. Then I see women in sari’s. A woman comes over, I say I’d like to look around if it’s okay. She lets me in and walks me about. She is telling me the history of the place but I don’t understand the language she is speaking.

Sting from The Police is here. He has money, but he is being told he doesn’t need it for what he wants to do. He is blowing up some rocks under a rail bridge. The bridge is very high, further along is where these Indian homes are. I think he is looking for quartz crystals.

I am trying to construct something out of some pieces of crystal. At first I have three long pieces of green crystal, then I get some small pieces and add what reminds me of a temporal lobe. I think I am making a computer.

There is a guy sitting on a sofa watching. I think he has had a drink problem. He reminds me a bit of Andy. Chris from PwC is there and a couple of other people. I have finished what I was doing and am sitting on another sofa. It is all very relaxed and casual. I don’t know these other people very well but they don’t seem to mind me being there. It is a nice atmosphere, no tension.

Travel

I am watching a television programme being made. The queen is sat on one end of the desk, there is a black boy in the middle and a woman with dark hair at the end who is the presenter. She is wearing a yellow top. The queen is wearing a purple coat. She looks really peeved throughout the whole thing. The presenter has a television screen next to her and she also has a computer or a laptop. She is giving this boy details of a train timetable.

I have to visit lots of different places. I am flying through the air with someone. We have to cross some water. We come to a little church and a graveyard, there is someone here we need to pick up. Someone who is going to help us, he is a musician.

I am standing at a counter. I am waiting for something, there are two other men with me. We are waiting for some results, it looks like a train station concourse. Two very large women come over, one has dark hair the other has blonde hair. One of them talks to the man behind the counter. I am sitting on the floor with one of these men (he looks a bit like Garry). I think we are playing with something. I kick something out of the way so the women won’t see it. It is part of my kitchen scales.

I am walking in the countryside. I am with my Brother E. Most people are walking down a main path, but we take veer off onto a small path that is on raised ground. We come across a dark beast, looks a bit like a bison, and turn back.

Old Arguments

I am at my parents house. I am sitting in the back room on the sofa. Mum and Dad are there and Sister C and Sister L. They’re all mad with me although I’m not sure what I’ve done. I go and sit on the floor next mum, Sister C pushes me as she moves to sit in an armchair. I complain and they all call me liar, I can see her smirking. I get up and go to the other end of the room, I am looking for a key, I can’t find it. I come back and sit on the sofa. My quilt is folded up on the floor at the end of the sofa, My mum lifts it up and shows me where my key is.

She goes out of the room into the kitchen. Then my dad starts having a go at me. Saying I shouldn’t be causing trouble when she’s sick. He keeps waving a Mike Peters album at me. It has a red cover. He’s using it as an example of something. I tell him I’m not going to stay and listen to him and walk out of the room.

I am asleep on my bed in my old bedroom on the top bunk. My dad comes in. He tells me they are going to eat. I think he wants to ask if I’m going to join them but I’m still angry. I’m wearing a white fluffy nightgown like my mums.

I am thinking of things I can paint on some small canvases I have bought. I think of one picture of a robin sitting on a Christmas tree, outside against the night sky with a house in the background. But I think there is too much in the picture for me to paint and I need a smaller image. Maybe if I just pain the Robin.

I see a beach. It is a lovely calm beach. The sand is yellow and you can see it through the water way out to sea. It looks like Bournemouth or St Ives. I see some women who have come for a run . I am walking with some people down to the beach.

Choir Practice

I am in a house, it is an old house. It is located in some woodland. It looks like a small square, grey building with brown/red roof and a chimney. Inside the rooms are panelled with a dark wood. PP is there. He is our teacher. I am there with lots of other girls. Jenny LF and Esther are there who I used to go to school with. After we have finished rehearsing, me and another girl go into a room to change. For some reason we’re afraid we might have to leave.

Later I dreamt I was with PP again. This time I was with the people form choir. We were at Jesus college. We have sat down to listen to a concert after it starts thought PP gets up and tells us we have to leave. Everybody stares at us as we go. Maybe it just wasn’t very good. He leads through lots of corridors, I’m afraid I won’t be able to find my way back. I am at the front with three other girls. Some how PP is now behind us. We stop to wait for the others to catch up.

Artists

I am in a cave system. There is a group of people with me. We are drawing sketches, they are all in black and white. I am using charcoal. I am drawing a girl in the dark, in the background is a door slightly ajar which is letting in a shaft of light. I am afraid part of the caves are going to collapse and we will become stuck.

I enter this old building, it is medieval, and made out of grey stone. . We are sitting in a small room around a table, drawing.

There is an asian girl, she has made a collage with felt. It is pink and brown, it looks like a mermaid, there are shiny pieces of thread in it. One of the drawings I do is of a my mum, it’s very good. There are two other portraits I have done. There is a black guy in our group. They are all very nice. We have left where we have been, we are walking through a dark street.

I am at a baseball game. It is winter. I am sitting by the edge of the field on a bench. There are lots of concrete buildings around us, it isn’t a very large pitch. I sit down next to a very large man. I can’t see very well so I get him to move up. My sisters are there, we are looking at some make up. A woman with a younger sibling who is misbehaving takes him/her home (which is just on the other side of the pitch) and tells them off. Then her mother comes home and tells her off.

I am in a supermarket. We are still drawing. We have to go to a checkout once we have finished, but I’m afraid I’m not going to finish in time, everything I draw isn’t good enough. Emma one of my old housemates from Mill Rd is there, she is trying to help me. I keep rubbing out and starting again, I am afraid, I feel like it is a life or death situation. There is a manager, a woman who keeps coming over to check on our progress.

Working Again

I am on the set of a costume drama. It looks like is set in Jane Austen’s time form the clothes we are wearing. We all have lace caps on, maybe it is Cranford. We are all sitting round a table having a meal. A woman opposite me is reading a letter.

I go outside. There is a small farm here, mostly I think they make money by charging people to come and see the animals. There are lots of pigs here and lots of children. We are filming something here as well. There is a group of children, and we have to end on a close up of one child, she looks at the camera a few times though (this is modern day now).

I go for a break. I am standing in a concrete shopping precinct. There are three people there, a man and a woman and I think there son. The man and woman are smoking. I am trying not to breath in the smoke. One of them is eating a sandwich, it looks like a bean burger I had form Burger King when I went to Peterborough.

The White House

I am at my flat in Lichfield. It is night, my sisters are there. There are a couple of Chinese people. We are creeping in and out. I think my parents are asleep. Sister C gives me a large cookie. One of those enormous soft ones from a shop. I nibble a bit of it. It’s very nice

I am at a new house. There is building work going on. My mum is there. I am in the bedroom, although this looks like the ground floor. There are gong to be two beds in this room. Everything is being painted a creamy off white colour. My Mum wants us to put a low wall in this room by the door, to separate the room off and make a kind of hallway. I don’t want the wall.

I have made a scone, I have filled it with butter icing as well as cream, although the butter icing only goes around the edge of the scone. My mum opens it up and sees, but doesn’t say anything, she says it tastes very nice. I used to love cream and scones when I was a child.

There are two cats, one is black (blackadder?) and the other is a smaller tabby (kitten?). They keep fighting so I keep having to pick up the tabby. I go outside into the garden with the tabby cat. It is only a small square garden, it has a washing line, and is mostly grass. I try putting the cat down but they carry on fighting.

Protesters and Campaigners

I am in a shop. They are selling things, it looks like a jumble sale. I see some lovely fake fur coats. I have a friend with me, she picks up my favourite coat and tries it on. I pick up another coat it is long and has long white and blue shiny fur, there is a hat to go with it too. The hat though has a few streaks of black. I see another jacket, it is woollen, it is a light grey colour. It’s nice, but it looks very creased and I don’t think it has much wear left in it. Maybe this is a charity shop we’re in. I see a male friend at the door he starts pulling silly faces at me through the window in the door. He presses his nose against the glass so it looks like a pigs nose, he has short wavy black hair (I remember Lister doing it in Red Dwarf).

We go back into the Street. There is a woman with a microphone, she is talking to passer by’s, she is talking to them about some issue. She sees me go past and announces I will say something now. I shake my head and rush past.

There are tables in the street too with things for sale on them. It has some stuff on it which is mine which I didn’t give them. There is a coat and some books. I tell the guy at the stall, he looks a bit more like a new age protester, that I just put this stuff down for a minute, and that I wasn’t giving it to them. Eventually he believes me and lets me take it. The jacket is really nice, it is creamy coloured and fake sheepskin (a bit like one I saw Hayley W. wearing in a photograph).

I am in the back of a van, there are some women, they have been protesting, there is a man too, he has grey hair an beard, the women have grey hair too. They all look in their fifties. They were arrested for whatever they did, but now they are being let go. They all look very middle class, not like rebels at all.

We are walking away from the street fair now. It looks like we are in a large town with some big old buildings. I can see some of the streets are cordoned off. I am staying somewhere quite close by. It is a house, but it looks like it is situated in Lichfield bus Station. My room is at the back of the property. I have to walk down a corridor to get to it. (It looks like Melanie’s room at the house we shared on Mill road). Some people have been using my stuff, they have come back from where ever they’ve been and got into my bed. I try to pull the quilt off but they hold onto it and cover their faces with it. I hit them with a magazine, I think it is a TV guide, and yell at them asking where PP is. They still ignore me. I walk back down the corridor and see PP in the bathroom brushing his teeth. I tell him that my bubble bath and soap has been used and that there isn’t much left and that I want him to replace it. I’m very angry, and also anxious. He doesn’t seem to care, he nods and carries on with what he’s doing.

Going On Holiday

I am driving. I haven’t driven in a long time. I am having a debate with a girl about which car I should use. There is a silver people carrier, the sensible choice and then there is a sporty car, which is the car she wants. At different times I want to call this girl Ellie or Emma. Although she looks more like Ellie (a girl I used to work with who got married and now lives in Spain). She has a brother, he is quite small, he is wearing a black woollen coat and a scarf, it isn’t winter though, or it doesn’t look it. Ellie is working, I don’t think I am. Her brother seems to have a good job, he looks a bit like a university student. I have to pick them both up or he’s meeting us somewhere. Maybe we’re going on holiday. It makes me think of the film, back to the future. At one point me and Ellie are somewhere, that is just black, it doesn’t look like a real place, and we are suddenly shifted forwards together. A bit like being on a roller coaster at the top of the ride, in darkness.

There is a wedding going on. I think it’s strange that her father has so much influence over her and yet he is so far away. They don’t seem to have much family around. I am wearing my beige chunky scarf, Ellie is wearing a suit all in black. There is another woman watching us, I think she from an agency, she is keeping an eye on me and Ellie to watch how we do. We stop at a petrol garage, at one point I think we’re on a boat.

Lessons in Love

I am driving, I think Brother E is in the car with me. We have a place to get to, but there is a road that has been cordoned off so we have to change our route. We are all at my dads house. There have been lots of arguments going on. Particularly between Sister L and my Dad. We’ve had some kind of task to complete. Me and Brother E have done well to last to the end. Sister L did didn’t finish. We are sitting in Sister G’s room discussing what went wrong, now it’s over. I’m trying to explain something to Sister L but each time I start she talks over me. The door to the room is open and I see dad running up the stairs, he is going to the bathroom, his sleeve are rolled up, he has been doing some work. He sees us and comes in to talk to us. He sits on the edge of the bed, L is sitting on the black office swivel chair, she is wearing black. Dad gets out a clear red A4 wallet that has some papers in it. He gives L a handout, he asks me if I need one but I think I have one already. It looks like the wallet that I keep Tania’s stuff in.

Medieval Pub

I am in a really old medieval pub. There is a big bear roaming about. I am sitting up in the rafters, although at some points I am also sitting in a tree. I am waiting for the bear to leave so I can come down.

There are some people sitting at a table, one of them Peter A. It looks newly polished and made, it is square, and the colour of pine. There is a baby bear hiding in the rafters. It jumps down onto the table and knocks it over then runs off. I am standing in the corner, I think I am Jordan. She is holding a ball of nails in her hands, she has a child, she surrounds them both with this ball to get them out of the room.

Everyone has left, and PA and some others are sitting in the next room. I am standing and Jordan is there but she looks different, she has brown hair. I am looking at the layers around her face, it is tied back in a ponytail. There is a bedroom next door. J is going to bed, she has a man in the bed. Someone offers her something but she says she can’t because this man is awake. The person asks who woke him and she smiles slyly and says it was her, she hit with the baby when she picked him up. This woman is trying to be her friend, she offers her something else but she says she doesn’t need it.

A Helping Hand

I have a red car, it is parked by the side of the road behind my dad’s Range Rover. It is night. We are stuck on this road, Brother C is there too. The road goes down a small incline and then rises, only when it starts to rise there is a jump in the level of the road. My dad has a makeshift ramp. He is helping me push my car up this ramp. I am in a car with a man. We are driving through countryside, it’s not very picturesque. It is a grey day. He is wearing a thick coat. It is a newly built road. We come to a round about.

Lake District

I am in a strange place. We are outside, it looks like we are very high up in some mountains. There is a lake on one side of us and a road and rising ground on the other (could be the lake district). There is me, Adele G and a couple of other girls. We are wearing these strange jumpsuits. There is a woman who seems to be in charge, she is telling us where to go, but we seem keep ending up at the same place. We are standing between these barriers that zigzags towards an entrance (it looks like a queue for a fairground ride, but it looks closed). Nobody else is there though. The entrance leads to the lake, maybe it is a boat ride. I think we are trying to get off these barriers. We keep bumping into these other two girls, we tell them what the woman told us, but none of us can figure it out.

Redecorating

My dad is redecorating their bathroom. He is putting on new tiles. They small and square and have nice colours round the edges. He is having to put something behind some of them because the wall isn’t flat. The rest of the family is there. There is a little girl with long hair, I think she is Niece H (although she has blonde hair) She hasn’t been very nice to me, she has been talking about me behind my back. She comes over, she wants to be friends now, she asks me a question. She and another girl are playing with coloured paper, pretending to make tiles to help dad. I am in a large room, it looks very pink, it too is tiled. My Nan is there too and there is a woman sitting at reception. There is a wedding going on. Auntie J comes in. She wants to know what’s going on, I tell her to go back inside. There has been a family fall out, I think she just wants the gossip.

Film Stars

Dreamt of Tom Hanks. I’m an actress and we’re filming something. I like him, he likes me, but he keeps holding back, can’t make up his mind. (This is off camera, behind the scenes). I’m trying to find out why. He is very nice and affectionate otherwise. This part of the dream keeps switching between Tom and PP. After we have filmed a scene where we make love on the kitchen floor (it is carpeted?!) we leave to go out somewhere. We are walking along lots of long corridors (reminds me The Belfry, where my sister got married, lots of the doors are grey metal mesh. I am telling him about my sister. Tom is carrying a baby, we see another baby girl playing on the floor of a corridor (Sister G?), he picks her up and carries her on his other shoulder. Sister L has fallen out with a girl. A housemate, someone she used to live with. She is talking on the phone to a man - she is telling him about the money this girl owes her. At first this man seems sympathetic, but then his tone of voice changes and he begins asking questions. He asks her if she is going to leave this girl alone once she gets this money or is she going to harass her. I don’t like this man, his behaviour is very threatening. L is upset because she thought he was her friend. Seems more likely this man and her friend have some kind of understanding. Me and Tom come out of the corridor and we are in a supermarket, although the décor is the same. We walk past the checkouts and come to some placards that are leaning against a wall. I look through them to read what she’s put. They don’t say anything specific except this girl isn’t very nice. L turns up with Sister C, they are getting ready to go and demonstrate. I’m feeling a bit unsure about going now. But I don’t say anything, L looks so upset I decide to go anyway.

Being an Aupair

I have been hired by a couple to do something. I go to the house. I am lying on the bed in my room (it’s a live in position). The child is autistic, it’s a little boy who looks like my nephew. I hear the father yelling at the boy for not doing something. Then he comes into my room. His wife isn’t back yet, he sees me lying on the bed. He wants me to do something, I say I was only hired to do light housework and something else. Now I am standing up, I am holding the little boy, I tell the father off for swearing at him. I think he was trying to give him his tea. The mother comes home and walks in, she hears me telling off her husband but doesn’t seem to mind though.

I am with an estate agent, there is a girl/woman with me. We are friends. The agent is there to show us around the house. The woman who owns it isn’t there. First we see the garage, then inside we see the bedrooms. It all looks fairly tidy. She is a single mother, in one bedroom I count seven beds. I wonder why she had so many children and why there’s no father. I accept the position, because later I am lying in one of the beds talking to one of the children. I don’t know why, but I have a particular interest in her. My friend is still there in the back ground. I think they are all quite well behaved considering. They go off to school. There are some lads, they are in the garage. RM is one of them. They are jumping on this huge trampoline. They look very small in comparison to the trampoline. RM is showing off his pecs. They have to complete so many moves in within a time limit, I don’t think they succeed. They are larking about too much.

Taking A Walk

I am walking along a country lane, it is semi rural. It is night. I am wearing my green jacket. There is a black elderly man parked by the side of the road in a silver car. He is standing by the car, the passenger door is open. He is in my way. I cross the road and have to walk an extra distance, when I get back onto the road he has only moved a few meters down the road. I have at go at him for getting in my way when he didn’t need to go anywhere. He just smiles.

I carry on walking. I see a couple doing an advert for food, but it’s the opposite of an advert because they’re saying it’s not good food. I recognise the man, the it’s the presenter off Who Wants to be a Millionaire, only he looks younger and his hair is blonde. The woman has short dark curly hair. I think it’s odd because I have just had a real meal of the same food and I didn’t like it. It was scrambled egg, a gluten free crumpet with beans. It looked and tasted plastic, the kind of meal you’d get in a roadside café.

I walk past a couple of youths, one is black the other is white. The white guy is wearing a football shirt. They are being rude and generally obstructive. I answer back but they carry on giving me grief. I think one of them is taking photos. I think I might have written something they don’t like. I have some Polaroid photos, I don’t know what they are of, I hold them up one by one and the white guy takes photos of them,, then they go away.

I have something important I’m doing. There are other people involved. I think it’s a job. I have a deadline to meet. A woman is sitting on a bed. She wants to know what decision we’ve made. This reminds of the documentary I saw on the editor of Vogue before I went to bed. Someone is saying ‘She can’t, they’re expecting me to do something I can’t.’ This person is sticking up for me. I have one day to go and it will be done.

I keep thinking of my mum, and a murder mystery and that I’m filling in for someone. I think I have taken a long detour to do this. Then I come across these two young lads who are in my way.

While I’m walking I go past shelves of food, they look like they’re stacked on supermarket shelves. There is a girl/woman sitting in front of them. It looks like my daily shopping, there are bottles of mineral water and other things I buy. I count the days they represent, The last shelf had three days worth on it. I think this girl either works for me, or is there to replace me.

Drinks and an Obstacle Course

I am in a pub, I think this is where we end up after the bike ride. I am with a man. He is a sports presenter and he went on Strictly Come Dancing, Chris something. I think we are going out. He goes to the bar to get me something to drink. I am sitting on his lap at one point. A couple we are friends with come over and join us and this other lad. It isn’t a particularly nice pub. You have to go up some steps to get to it. It is a fairly modern building that they have put a bar in. the bar is round the corner, we are sitting at a table next to an open area that could be a dance floor. There is an army man there. He has a parachute on, he tells us we have to go.

I am in my parent’s back garden. There is a strange, dark grey horned animal, looks a bit like a bull. There is another animal there watching - a deer? We are by the tree house. The grey beast sees me and beings charging I jump into a tree and walk towards the end of the branch. The army man with the parachute is standing in the next tree. The grey beast jumps on to and starts edging towards me. I start bouncing on the branch, I make it bounce really high. The grey beast has to get off. I stop bouncing, then I think it might try to get back on so I start bouncing again. It is much harder to get the branch to move again. The beast doesn’t try to get back up though. This is the second time I visited the garden. The first time I went the animals weren’t there.

Bicycle Trip

There is me, and a boy and a girl, one is Niece O and the other is a boy. We have to get somewhere fast. I give them bikes. I am looking at a map. I have a basic idea of where we’re going. I’m not sure why it’s such an emergency though. We stop off at this place. I’m not sure why. It is really busy and full of parents with young children. It is an ice-cream parlour. I think some of my other nieces are here. There are some rooms to the side, there are nurses and sick people there. I am waiting in one of these rooms. A nurse brings in an obese old man, she sits him down on the bed. He is trying to go to the toilet. He is making lots of groaning noises. I think there must be something wrong with his bowels. I begin to think the reason this place is attached to the ice-cream parlour is that this is what happens when you eat too much dairy. Maybe dairy is responsible for other health problems besides breast cancer. I leave the room and tell the kids we have to go. When we get outside their bikes have been stolen. We go back into the ice-cream parlour and I tell them to just grab someone else’s bike as we have to go, I think they asking other kids if they can borrow their bikes.

Anger Management Needed

I am in a flat. My Mum and Sister C are there. There is also another woman, I think she works for my Mum. My mum has loads of timesheets spread on the bed. She is trying to work out how much she owes me. It is a new venture she has started, I think it is a nursery. I get a note or a call to go to the flat below us. It is my old flat in Knights Close. I am really surprised, I look through the bedroom window at the back and see my sister dancing around in a black leotard, with white specs on it, there is no furniture in the room. I am really angry, I go inside and ask her what she’s doing there. She tells me she has been staying there a couple of nights a week. I tell her she has to leave. She shows me a piece of paper which she thinks gives her the right to stay. She says she is going to pay me. I try to drag her out. Then this old man arrives. We are in the front room now, it is empty except for the sofa. Sister L has brought a man there. He is sitting on the sofa with her. He looks either in his fifties or sixties. He has a heart condition, they seem to think this will mean I will let them stay. But I am still really angry and try to drag her out. I am pinching and biting. There is another man there holding open the door. I eventually give up and leave.

Mum and Dad have a Clearout

I am at my parent’s house, sister C is there as well. There are piles of stuff everywhere. She is kneeling on the floor washing a small tin can. Sister L turns up with G. There is a swimming/paddling pool on the drive, G gets in. I think my Mum is here as well, it’s looks they’re having a clear out. At the end of the dream I think I find something valuable of my Mum gives me something. When sister L shows up I get the feeling she’s not entirely welcome. I see someone else’s telly in their lounge, first it is a close up, but as I see more of it, it doesn’t look like our telly at all. It looks about the same age and it is silver, but the screen is much larger and it has a VHS player incorporated into it which lies vertically and flips open like a cassette player. I tell my Mum I have seen someone selling an old telly like ours on eBay. I am reading my tarot cards, I think Sister C is reading them with me. I have done a Celtic Cross like spread. The four cards that are placed vertically in the spread and are the last ones to turn over represent the next weeks or the next months. Sister C turns them over and they are all aces. Sister L starts messing with stuff I have already sorted, I have gone to bed, when I get up I have to sort it out again. I think I go outside to find her, I amazed to see G still in the swimming pool. At one point I am standing on a pavement, I think I am standing under some scaffolding, the buildings are large and made of big blocks of stone and architecturally look quite old. I think I have come looking for stuff.

Satsung

I am with an Asian family. We are driving to get away from the police. We stop, there is a crowd gathering, it looks like an inner city area. People are standing by the edge of the pavement. We are waiting for the master. He arrives in a wheelchair. He has something shiny on his forehead. It looks like the mask the black figure was wearing on the stage. It is like a black spot with a white shiny edge. It is shaped more like a heart than a circle.

After he has gone, some of the lads steal a police car. I am with them, I think there are some women too. At one point I am afraid the police are chasing us. We manage to avoid detection and arrive at some flats. We go inside one of the ground floor flats. It looks a bit dingy inside. The boys go into the front room. I go into the back room. There are two women there, they are sitting on a sofa knitting and watching television. There are some patio doors leading to a garden. It looks a bit like our house at Shenstone W.E.. There is a dog there, he is very friendly. I sit in a chair and pet the dog.

A Pregnant Friend

E. form Cambs is there, she is pregnant. She doesn’t have a boyfriend, I wonder how she got herself pregnant. She is wearing a long dress with a small flower pattern on it and sandals. We are at an amusement park. Her mother is there, she looks much younger than I thought she was, she doesn’t seem t mind that E. is pregnant. I think she made Emma the dress, I see myself wearing something similar. I look very slim in it.

There is a stage, it is a small stage. It is in darkness. There are white chiffon sheets hanging down. I have just come off the stage. I turn around and see a figure where a black hood and cloak peeping out at me. Out where the audience would sit are a few people. E.’s mum has brought me a hamster cage. There is no hamster in it, just a note saying it will be back. I think I have been looking after it for someone. I begin making the cage look nicer. This woman helps me, she has a young girl with her. I put some small plastic plants inside it and some pebbles also there is a little pond. This woman has some earth pellets, I put thee inside some of the tubes, so the hamster can imagine it is burrowing through the earth. It reminds me of my brother’s hamster cage. He is standing nearby watching.

A Labyrinth

I am standing in my parents back garden. It is night, there are lots of people about. I see Ben R. and Liz C.. There is a small summer house there. It has a bedroom. I go inside and go to bed. I am dressed in a white nightie. My room has patio doors that lead into the garden where I can see everyone. There is rain on the doors. Something happens to make me get up, something to do with Liz. I open the patio doors a little bit and slide out. Liz is trying to follow me but can’t keep up.

It is day now, there is a path round the side of the building. Which leads into some kind of maze. The ground is grass and the walls of the maze are hedges. There is an Chinese man dressed in black I know is waiting for me in the maze. I see his arm poking out from around a corner. We fight in an eastern style of fighting. He falls to ground, he has been holding a fencing sword. I pick it up and point it at his chest to show I’ve won.

Back outside my cabin it is dark again. I see a car, it is a small sports car, red with a white strip and a number painted on. I think it must be used in races. It moves and appears to be buried under grass. My dad is now sitting on top of it, my brother E. is there as well. Ben R. is there and Sandy T.. she looks shorter than she is real life, she is wearing a dark suit. She wants to hold my hand, but I notice she has lots of white spots on left hand and I pull away.

I want to get away from her too, I head towards the house, the path becomes very wide, it’s daylight now, it is paved with a yellowish stone. (Makes me think of the yellow brick road, and the emerald city. The solar plexus where our personality is, is yellow, and this leads to the next chakra, the heart centre which is green). This isn’t how it looks in real life. Sandy starts chasing me. Now she has become a little girl in a pink dress. I stop running and turn around back up the path. She slips and carries on sliding down the path. There is a raised flowerbed on the right side of the path. Some of the brick work is crumbling away. There is also another cabin like building there. I climb into the flower bed to hide down the side of the building.

Hotel California

I see Helen Y, a girl who used to be in my tutor group at school. She is walking ahead of me on the other side of the road. She never turns round and I never see her face. It is a nice road, with trees and it looks very green. We are both heading for the same building. I notice her hair mostly. It is still in a bob, but it is straight and no longer curly. She still bleaches it, she shows me her roots.

Inside this building are other people, some I knew from school. There is a room where we do art. I have three drawings on the wall. One is small on white paper. Then there are two large sketches of groups of people. Which I have then gone over with ink. One with red ink the other with green ink. The red picture and the small drawing are the wall outside the room, the green one is inside. (something to do with extrovert and introvert tendencies and left and right sides of our brain?). It is the red one I notice the most, the figures are all from the waist up, they are male, they aren’t wearing anything, they are all quite muscular. One man in particular stands out, he is looking at the viewer with a big smile on his face.

I am at the top of a very tall office building. I think I’m in Japan, or it is a Japanese company that owns it. I can see lots of escalators going down. I am looking at the walls, everything is grey or silver and metallic.

I have to go and see a woman. Something to do with my computer. The only way I can get to her though is to climb along the outside of the building and talk to her through a small window. She passes me a piece of paper through the window. I try to get inside, but the window appears to be locked and she seems to have changed her mind. This woman looks quite young, she has dark shoulder length hair. I manage to get in though.

I am back inside the hotel building. I am in the canteen. Ben R. is there and Sandy is there and some others. We are forming a queue. No one seems to be serving yet. There are a couple of women sitting on the sofa. They know Sandy. They think it’s funny she is trying to chat me up. I look at my hand and I have the same white spots Sandy has. I start squeezing them. She has me corned, I fall on top of thee other two women. I manage to get away and go looking for my room.

Down by the River

I am standing outside an enclosure. A tall man in a black suit comes over to let us in. There is an old man with me. He is in this buggy thing that has a clear waterproof roof. They chat for a bit. This man in a black suit looks very pleased with himself.

I am by a beautiful river. It reminds me of one of the few memories I have of my granddad. When we visit this very pretty village and sit by a river watching people fishing. In my dream there is a large park by the river with beautiful flower beds. My sisters C. and L. are there. My dad is there with two children.

The toilets are in this small square building made mostly with large dark beams and old brick work. There is a large queue. They are waiting for the caretaker to unlock them. Somehow I manage to jump the queue. I am with a girl, a friend, she has dark straight hair, she seems quite excited and very happy, she keeps smiling at me. Now I see that people have come here to get changed, there is some sort of talent contest going on.

I am at a market, I have my own stall. Fran is there from Tamworth, she is trying to help me to find things to sell. We see a pile of stuff beneath the woman’s stall and go through it. I find a couple of nice tiles and there is also some knitted stuff.

I have played the lottery and think I have won. It’s a game where you chose letters rather than numbers. But I have only scribbled my letters down, there is a rule on the back of my ticket that says you have to prove you chose the numbers by putting them down on a spreadsheet. (Sounds a bit like the job centre!) My sister C. is checking them for me. I point to this rule and ask her if there is anyway round it considering I am autistic, she shakes her head. I think I have only won £10 anyway. She is in a bad mood with me, although she’s trying to act as if she isn’t.

While I am talking to sister C. and bird on the river swims over to us. It looks like a puppet off Sesame Street rather than a real bird. My sister L., who is standing near by listening to me and sister C. (she is in flower bed, it looks as if she is gardening) tells me it is a stork. I think this is relevant because storks bring babies. Sister C. runs off to go and meet the bird, the bird swims off down the river to where she is going.

I am in the cabin again. There is a ginger cat there. I am stroking it. At one point it runs off. Sister L. has a go at me telling me I shouldn’t have been stroking it and that I’m no good with animals.

My dad is standing with a pushchair and two children. One has dark hair, she is sitting in the pushchair, she is eating something. She screams very loudly when a fly lands on her. I think she is being very melodramatic. My dad ignores her. I am sitting down close to them. My dad shows me an advert in a paper. It is a German man offering to calculate people’s tax for them.

There are lots of strange sculptures in the gardens. They are very smooth all over and carved from a very hard black rock. They look a bit like the alien thing off The Day the Earth Stood Still. They are stood in the flower beds.

A New Room, A New Job

I am in a house. I think it might be my dad’s house. There are many large bedrooms. One is occupied by an elderly couple. I don’t like the old man much. He is very grumpy and difficult. They have been watching a film, it wasn’t a horror film but it was bit scary. Although they only watched the film, when they are telling me about they look as if they were actually in it. They are climbing this giant construction, it is metal and it is only a frame, they are in harnesses. The construction hangs out over water. It moves from time to time. They have got to the top of it, but now there is nowhere to go, I think I join them at this point. At the top we can see the construction is nailed to a piece of wood. I don’t understand where we are supposed to go next.

While they are telling me this story I am sitting on the floor stroking a cat. It looks like my old bedroom in Hints. The cat squeals and I look down and see it has scratches on it’s face and body, it looks as if it has been fighting. It looks like a baby version of Blackadder, my dad’s cat.

The old couple have vacated their room. It is very large, the curtains are drawn. It looks as if someone has been inside and tidied it up. I’m happy that I will be able to take this room now.

First though I have work to do. I am back in accountancy. There are several of us starting at the same time. It feels like most of the people who were there before have gone and we are there to clear up the mess. I see one guy standing in front of a huge stack of papers. He smiles at me and seems quite friendly. I am still training though. The job is closely associated with where I am staying.

Animal Lover

There is a dolphin on my bed. It isn’t very well. I have wrapped it in my quilt and I am rubbing water into it’s skin. I can feel it getting colder. My landlord is in the other room doing some ironing. He is having an argument with his wife. I manage to persuade him to get help for the dolphin. Two men turn up, they are wearing shorts and waterproof jackets. They look like they work with water animals. They dolphin perks up immediately they arrive. One of the men starts giving the dolphin an examination. He is squeezing the dolphins rear, to see if it as a urinal problem, he says ‘I hop it doesn’t pee on me’. At one point the dolphin appears to be standing up by the side of the bed watching the men examine it. It looks like a little boy (reminds me of Matthew). He is smiling at me. He is also a bit stripy and reminds me of my neighbour’s cat (who also peed on my bed).

There is a woman who comes into my room. She is quite tall with dark hair, she reminds me of the woman behind the desk at chief rentals. She has her arms folded and looks cross, maybe this is who my landlord is arguing with. She doesn’t look cross with me. I think she has a job for me.

I am outdoors, it is quite light and the grass is green. We are by the coast, I can see the sea, the land is very hilly. I see some paths, I manage to line two up in a straight line. It leads directly to a church/temple building which is on top of an outcrop of rock just off from the main land. I think they must have been part of the same path at one point. I think my landlord has followed me out here. I point out the path to him. This cross woman is here as well. I think this place is part of a park or some sort of leisure facility. I think this might be where the dolphin came from.

Back inside. They have taken the dolphin away. Now the room looks like my old bedroom at Hints. My chest feels itchy, I look down and see a squashed beetle. I brush it off and it stings my finger. I’m surprised as it looked dead and I didn’t think it would be able to bit me. I now have this very sore spot on my chest. I squeeze it to see if anything will come out, but it grows into this long tubular looking wart. (It looks like this thing I saw in my wildlife magazine that worms make on the beach). I go to show the woman and this other guy. She seems a bit annoyed, she doesn’t want to have to do anything about it. As I’m showing them it starts to disappear and sinks inside me. (This reminds me of a story a girl on my old creative writing course wrote about a woman who had a worm that lived inside her thigh - I keep having thoughts about monster worms who come to you at night in your sleep, creatures who used to live down wells, that knights in shining armour had to kill, I think they’re also associated with ley lines).

There is a toilet leaking. Me and this other girl are trying to mop it up but it keeps as we are mopping more water appears. (This girl reminds me of Adele, and when we went to India and it was our job to mop the kitchen at night). I go to find someone to tell about the leak. I come back and start helping my friend mop. She has been stuffing towels in the toilet to soak up the water, I show her it is still refilling. I find a small switch inside that can turn off the water but it keeps coming unstuck. A black arrives, she doesn’t believe us that the toilet is leaking, even though it is right in front of her. I take her hand and try to get her to feel the water on the floor. At first she won’t unclench her hand, then I get to her to lay it flat and holding her wrist swish it about in the water.

I am in a car with some people. I think the same characters that have appeared in this dream before. I want to buy a present for a woman. We pull into a garage. The tall man behind the counter isn’t being very helpful. I go behind the counter to have a look at what he has got. He asks me if I want an after eight egg. I bite into one. It is dark chocolate and on the inside a creamy white fondant. I tell the man I will buy it. It makes me think of opposites; black and white, good and evil. Also eggs are a symbol of the universe. I wonder if I got if for this black woman. I think she didn’t believe us about the leak simply because she was in a bad mood with me, so I other words she pretended she didn’t think it was leaking, because this makes our job harder.

Winter Time

I am standing in quite a narrow street. It has snowed, and now it has frozen so it’s very slippery. There is a young man there who is supervising me and some other people who are working. I’m not sure what we’re doing, maybe clearing the snow. I have to go to my bedroom to get something we need for the job. While we are working me and this supervising guy, who I think likes me walk away down a different curving street. I’m not sure where we are going. Although a bit later we are at some sports fields at my old secondary school. They are midway between the lower and the upper schools. There is still snow on the ground.

At one point we go to a café. We are not going out yet. I have to something to complete first. We are doing some kind of work here. The tables look like school tables. And the people all look like students. There is a panel of people there who are watching our progress. A girl gets up, she has finished it, then everybody else starts to leave.

I am walking across a large area of grass, we are still I a town though, I can see some trees lining the road. There is a couple there walking their dog. It is a large grey dog. They are not very nice to it. He is having difficulty running. I think he has some kind of co-ordination difficulty. (I wonder if animals can be on the spectrum?). I go over and kiss him on the nose. His face looks more cat like than dog like. I show him how to run on all fours, and he copies me.

I am working in an office environment. I think I am in IT. There aren’t many people here. This nice guy who likes me is here too. He is checking our work. I hear a Madonna song (Miles Away?) Maybe we are able to listen to music while we work. I think we are going to replace some other people who worked here. There are other people here who are our bosses and are keeping an eye on us. I realise that some of things I am doing I am having to do twice (maybe I don’t get it right the first time).

There is a foreign trip involved somewhere. A place I want to go with this guy. But this is just a plan, a goal. This other guy is quite young and not very tall, we are very similar in age and size. I think I knew him at school.

I think I am in a department store. I am with other people. There are some older people, they have grey hair.

I see a big leafy tree. Someone is standing in front of it. There are other fences around it. These trees and fences look like they are actually framed pictures hanging on a wall. There is a person standing in profile against theses pictures. I don’t like the way he is smiling. He throws something into the tree.

Uncle Rod

I am at university, I am having to sit a test. Uncle Rod comes to visit. We are talking about being together. I know he already has a partner though. But for some reason I’m fairly confident he will leave her after spending the day with me. My dad arrives and we chat with him. We are standing outside in the street when he arrives. I have started dating him (?!). My dad is trying to turn around his Range Rover at the end of a close. But there are too many cars already parked.

My Ex-Employer's New House

I get to a house, it is very rural and big and detached. There is a riding school attached to it. I go inside it’s very busy. Most of the people working there are teenage girls. I see this one girl, her parents are there too, I think this is her first lesson. One of the girls helps her get on a small light brown horse, she is bareback and leads her out into the riding ring. I’m not sure what I have come for.

I walk into a room that looks like a kitchen. I think I am here to meet someone. There are some older women in this room. Jane, comes in. She is very friendly and I’m glad I’ve come. We go upstairs, there are many staircases and rooms in the house. Darrell is in his bedroom, he doesn’t come out. I start talking to some friendly girls.

There are lots of girls up here as well. One girl stops me and asks what I’m doing there, I have a piece of paper, she takes it and goes to find Jane. There is a young man with dark hair sitting in an armchair, he grabs hold of me as I go past, he is hugging and touching me as I go past, I’m trying to get away form him. I find Jane again and ask her where Matthew is. I am leaning against a door in a corridor, the door opens and I see a large room. Matthew is asleep in the corner.

Jane tells me he is very hyperactive, and she doesn’t want to wake him so I close the door. I go downstairs. As I’m walking down one of the staircases I see Hayley (P.‘s sister). She is with a friend. She looks young again. She is very sweet and friendly. She wants me to carry her. I carry her down some of the steps. She thinks it’s very funny. Then her and her friend go back to what they were doing.

In the kitchen some of the girls bring me cards they have made, I’m not sure what the occasion is. J. and D. offer me a lift somewhere, they have a huge people carrier. Jane tells me I can have a couple of sessions with Matthew on Wednesdays and Thursdays if I want. I think I must still be out of work.

Driving to Cambridge

I dream that I am going back to Cambridgeshire. I am driving. I’m trying to park on a residential road. My Nan is in the car with me. She looks pleased and happy. I’m having difficulty parking so I decide to keep driving. It is raining. I don’t think my breaks are working very well. I hit the back of one car (which is stationary by the side of the road). The car is swerving about a lot, I think I’ve forgotten which is the break and which is the accelerator.

Disabled

I was dreaming about the internet, that I have a website and I write a blog on it (all true so far!). I can not go somewhere or do something because I am disabled. I see myself in a wheelchair. It didn’t feel like a proper dream this, I felt as though I’d waken up before the dream had formed properly and these where the thoughts I was having that would have created the dream. (I don’t think they were my thoughts now).

Boating Holiday

I have gone on holiday. I am staying with a couple, there is also a group of young people I am with. They have a boat. I am walking along some decking with the husband, as I walk past the boat starts to drift off, it is not moored. I grab hold of it and bring it back. I start asking him questions about sailing. He tells me to look up at the sky while I’m walking. This makes me feel very dizzy, I think this is what it must be like to feel sea sick.

There is a girl I like in the group, she is blonde and tanned and younger than me. I think she likes me. I’m happy being with these girls. This place reminds me a bit of Weymouth. I am on the boat with some of the girls. Me and this blonde girl are walking ahead of the others. Just before we’re about to get off the boat she stops me and says she wants to talk. She says she likes me. I say I like her too, neither of us are sure about whether we want to act on it. I say I’m not sure about a relationship with her and I don’t sleep with people unless I’m in a relationship. Privately I’m not sure she’s even single (or that I am). She agrees it might best not to take it any further, she says she just wanted to tell me.

Her friend catches up with us, she has dark hair. They are talking about going somewhere to get something to eat. The dark haired girl tells her friend she knows a place where they sell fish (it looks a bit like a chip shop). The blonde girl isn’t too keen on fish though. She is doing something on her phone. While they carry on chatting I check her phone. She has the internet on it. She uses a very girly search engine, it has a pink wallpaper. I see my website in the search results. I point it out to her and she shows me a different search and my website comes up loads of times.

They get off the boat and I am on my own. I go into the kitchen. I am looking for something. I hear a squeak and think there must be a mousse under the units. I start looking for it. I find some rubbish on the floor, it looks like fast food wrapping and cardboard. I see a scorpion amongst it. I am afraid I will get stung. There are two cylindrical steel bins, one is bigger than the other. The big one looks like the one my Nan has. I somehow get out of the kitchen by sitting on these bins. I walk along to the bedroom. The boat is laid out just like my first flat. I’m still afraid to go to bed though in case the scorpion comes out of the kitchen and crawls into my bed.

Ralph

I am sitting in my Nan’s old lounge at Webster Close. My mum is there and some other people. There is a ginger cat, he wants to go out the front door, I start petting him though and he becomes very friendly, I am sitting on a sofa, I get him to sit on my lap. This sofa keeps moving around, I seem to be in a slightly different place each time. It looks like Ralph. But my Nan also used to have a ginger cat. There is a man standing in front of the back door. He has his arms spread as if he is guarding it. He has kicked Ralph before. I think that’s why Ralph is trying to go out the front door. I see Phoebe and Rachel. It is night and we are in a dark place, inside (it could still be my Nan’s). There is a porch, but it is as the back of the house. It leads into an overgrown garden. It’s a bit spooky. I don’t like it, they go out but I stay where I am.

Old Haunts

I am at my old house on the Birmingham Road in S.Woodend. My dad and sister L. are there. They go in. I am on the drive in my bed. A very friendly cat comes and sits on my pillow. S/he is white and ginger. S/he sits half on my face and I can hardly breath.

The front garden looks different now. It becomes someone’s back garden. They a large trampoline. It looks very green (could be Matthew’s back garden). I am with some people, I can’t into the garden though. I am outside. There is a man with me, a friend, he seems interested in how I am going to respond to the situation. I think he wants to learn something. While I stay here they have to go off somewhere else.

St Trinians

I am sitting in a room, it is also panelled, at a large table. There are lots of people around the table (they are my friends) and other tables with people at them in the room. It seems a small room and we’re all packed in. I am in an old building. The rooms are all panelled with wood. Phoebe from friends is there and Rachel. Phoebe is dumping a boyfriend, she takes him to a separate room and tries to let him down gently. Later on she tries to dump another boyfriend. He is Chinese, he has written a note that says he will kill himself if she doesn’t love him. He hangs himself from the ceiling of the room they have gone into, he is wearing a grey gown, he has grey breeze blocks hanging from him. She isn’t looking at him though she is talking to herself while she debates and doesn’t see him struggling, he thinks if he lets go before she says yes he will lose her. It looks quite comical, he is deadly serious but she is being funny.

I keep thinking of St. Trinians (my nieces favourite film). The headmistress makes them all go to bed at a particular time, but she knows as soon as the lights go out they get back up again. I think this is actually happening here. Maybe I am at a school or a university. It looks like a very old traditional place.

I look very happy at one point. I have a thick fringe and my hair is blonder and thicker, I have it tied back in a high ponytail. I am wearing a colourful stripy top with long sleeves. My girlfriend is here too (even though I don’t have one!).

I get called to a room and get left there. My mum is there, she is angry and shouting, she looks younger. I’m not sure what’s wrong but I feel I am being blamed for something that isn’t my fault.

A Gay Household

I have gone to visit some girls sharing a house. They are students but they are living in the country. I have to walk across a green field to get there. I think I am carrying something, a bowl or a plate. Maybe I am taking them a dish of some kind. There are two girls in the house when I get there. One is an Asian girl, she looks a bit like my old violin teacher, or an actress who played Amy in the film ‘The Forty Year Old Virgin’. I think A. is quite new to the house. I can’t see the other girl very clearly. Someone is learning to crochet, because I see a copy of a weekly crochet magazine on the coffee table.

I am planning to go home again but they want me to stay. Amy goes up to her room, she has a bed that looks like one I used to have, that I got from IKEA, it had a steel tube frame. She comes running downstairs, she is very upset and crying, she has a made a dent in one of her chairs, it is a wooden chair (like one I saw on Cash In The Attic the other day). I think she is afraid they will have to pay for it. I tell not to worry, it’s fine and no one will notice.

I am standing outside on a lawn talking to Julie from Cambs. She has a concert to go to. She has had a lot of pieces to learn for it. She has to learn these pieces to pass her course. I go back into the house. A. and this other girl are upstairs. There is another girl there. She is tall with red hair. I think her name is Charlie. She is getting something out of the fridge to eat (the fridge is in the lounge - a bit like one of the student houses I lived in). There is also a bed in this room. This woman is very friendly.

I am lying on the bed and she comes back into the room and sits on top of me. She kisses me and tells me not to worry I don’t have to do anything. I don’t like it though, she’ come on too strong. I ask her if she has girlfriend, she says no but I’m not sure I believe her. Someone else comes home and the red head gets off me. I like this other girl, she is quieter, not so tall, she has dark hair. We go and lie on her bed upstairs.

The girl with red hair is vacuuming on the landing, I’m afraid she is going to come in, so I get up and close the door. I’m a bit worried what she will think about me being in this girls room but she doesn’t seem to mind. I realise I haven’t shaved my legs and she notices.

After a bit we go downstairs, everybody is in the lounge. The red haired girl looks older now, her grey roots are showing. Her trousers ride up as she sits down and I see she doesn’t shave her legs either. Everybody leaves the room and it is just me and the dark haired girl. She is talking about the red haired girl and another girl. While she is talking I realise that I used to go to school with both of these girls she is talking about. One was Sarah H. and a friend of hers, but I cna't remember her name. She says people tried to ‘cure’ them. I get angry and say, ‘Cure them of what!’, she looks surprised at my reaction. I laugh and say ‘I know, I don’t look very militant’.

Red Tape

I am an au pair for a little boy. He looks like my nephew A. I am trying to teach him something. We are standing in a country lane for some reason. I pick up brick and pretend to listen to it, I play with it turning it over in my hand looking at it closely. I give it to A. to copy. I notice he has a lot of saliva around his mouth. It’s as if I am teaching him to be autistic or teaching him as if he were autistic.

There is a desk, there are lots of women behind it. (It’s a bit like the desk at University were we used to have to hand in our work). I want an update but they have lost my form and consequently haven’t done anything. I have to fill in another form. I still have A. with me. His parents have already filled in an application form. I think it is something to do with a property. It sounds strange but they have put forward three prices, maybe they are in a bidding war. The first amount is £90k something in black, the next price is £126k in red, the next price is £70k something in black. I think it is a property they want to buy, now they’re not sure if they can afford it.

My Sister's New Boyfriend

I am outside the entrance to Tescos again. My sister L. is there. She has a new boyfriend. She is dressed more casually than normally in tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt, her hair is pulled back into a ponytail. A bit like how I was dressed at Chav night. Her new boyfriend is younger than she is. He looks in his early twenties. He has dark blonde curly hair. He has just become self employed. He is planning to sell medical equipment. He is explaining it to me. He seems very nice. He is very happy about his change in career. They need some people’s help. I think that’s why I’m there. These other people show up, one of them is a large girl (L.’s best friend G. is a big girl). I see L. slap her around the face. I’m not sure what it is over. A bit later it happens again and they all walk off in disgust. It is either me or with me who tells her she can’t do that to people.

More People Come To Lich.

I’m in a flat. It is my flat except it is roomier and brighter. It is in the same position, on the top floor. I think it is all open plan, I have a door which leads into a walk in wardrobe and one but that’s it. I don’t know where the bathroom is. There is a man opposite and a woman below me. There is something wrong with her plugs. There is another door in my wardrobe which leads to a landing and a wide staircase, it is still very bright and yellow here.

Pa. is there too. I think he is living opposite this woman. He is sitting at a desk writing. He hears me talking to this woman. She is holding up a big piece of paper for me, I think it is a plan of the building. She is middle aged, she is dressed very smartly in work gear, she has blonde hair, she isn’t much taller than me. Although she wants my help she isn’t all that friendly. I am dressed casual, At one point I think I’m wearing the black jeans and the peach top I had tried on before going out last night.

Pa. comes in to help. He is wearing a chunky jumper mostly it is yellow (the colour of the solar plexus, the centre of our ego). Except around his stomach is lots of grey and brown. I don’t want to talk to him and I walk away. I move further and further away but they seem to be following. I move onto the stairs, and they appear, I go back to my wardrobe and they appear. Part of me wants to join in, part of me wishes they’d just go away. They finish talking and he goes back to his flat.

Visiting G. In Hospital

I am on my way to visit G. I am driving again. I go to Blake Street train station. There is a tunnel at Blake street you have to go through to get to the stairs leading to the platform to Birmingham. I go through the tunnel but I don’t go up the stairs. There are some other people here as well. They are doing something similar to me. Some of them get on the train. I see a boy I used to know at school, DA, who now lives in Australia, he is on the train.

I am inside the supermarket. I am picking stuff off the shelves and making a pile of it on the floor. People have to step over it and there is a shop assistants checking prices next to it but no one seems to mind. I have bananas and oranges and other things. The things I normally buy when I’m shopping. I think I am taking stuff to see G..

I have done something once and now I’m going back again to do it a second time. I’m driving back into Tescos, I feel like I am in a multi-storey car par (although there isn’t one at Tescos). It reminds me of a car park in Cambridge I used to use. It also reminds me of a tunnel on a water ride. But I don’t go down all the way. (It reminds me of centre parks when I went with A.). It is something to do with working out this puzzle, now I am trying to go back up through this tunnel.

I am at the entrance to Tescos in Lich. Garry is there, he is still wearing a hospital gown. He is still in hospital, but he must be out of traction because he comes over to my bed to say hello and comfort me. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I am in my old bunk bed that I shared with my twin. Mine was the top bunk. Maybe it is just because I’d been speaking about my childhood when we went out last night. He climbs up the ladder and strokes my foot and then returns to his bed.

I have done something twice, something to do with a film or the television, I keep thinking of the (Hitchcock film I bought Notorious). Maybe it’s because I bought G. two DVDs. There is something you can do here, something you have to work out (I also bought him a puzzle). When G. comes to my bed he has a go at the puzzle, I’m talking to him about what I needed to do on my way to my bed.

Mission Impossible

I am standing in a churchyard. It is night. There is a man there I know, he has dark hair, he's not very tall. He has stubble. My sister C. shows up as well with her kids. I think there is something going on at the church. It is something to do with foreigners and immigration. I feel like we're on the run from someone. At the same time there is something that we are trying to do, achieve together. He has to go somewhere but we arrange to meet up again.

We go to a tall building, it is white with different layers - strange architecture. I'm looking up at it, I think I go up it.

It is still night. I am standing in a busy city street. I cross over the road to where there are some coaches. I want to get on one. I think this man is already there, or already on one.

I am on the Tamworth Road with sis C and one of her children. We have a bicycle for four people. It is a sunny day. This man is still with me.

I Go To Wales With My Sister

I am on a beach with my sister C. and her kids. There are lots of children there. The weather doesn’t look particularly nice though. The beach is fairly small, it is just a cove, and half of it is taken up with these jagged rocks which jut out of the sand like gravestones. The waves on the sea are really big, The children hold onto the rocks and wait for the waves to come and lift them up. My old violin teacher comes onto the beach, she sits down straight away on a deck chair and immediately attracts some older men. I see RM and some other lads, they look like teenagers. They are standing in what looks like the alcoves on the swimming pool building at our old school. They are laughing, he makes out with this other guy.

A Friend Moves in Next Door

It is snowing a lot. I am walking with my sis C. back to my flat. J. from next door (to my parents) is with us. J. is moving into a new house. I think she is becoming a student for the first time. Her room will have two beds and two sofas in it. She is telling me this. I think she is going to live near me.

We are in a car. I think we are somewhere near Whittington barracks. J. has a boyfriend. We are at some crossroads, someone goes into us. We see a car bump into the car in front of it. This car pulls over. We turn right into this old disused industrial looking place. J. gets out she is upset at her boyfriend, for not doing anything about the accident.

We are going to use some public toilets. The turning kiosks are a funny shape, they are very narrow. J. goes through fine but I get my leg caught. Another girl is coming through at the same time. We have a laugh at my situation, then I manage to wriggle free.

I am back at my building. I am standing in the stairwell. There is a white wolf and an exotic monkey like creature and other animals. I want to go down but I’m hesitant. I am holding something, I spill water down to the ground floor. Half of the staircase is cordoned off. I make my way slowly down the stairs and I get to the bottom fine.

A Lot of Hot Air

I am at a large sports stadium. There is a large crowd and a news reporter. Some men are filling an airship with helium. They manage to get off the ground but not for long. There is a large explosion, the crowd gasps. The men operate an eject procedure and their cabin floats to the ground on a parachute.

Outside my Flat

I am walking out of my flat. I see a nest in the top of a tree through the window on the landing. As I look it gets closer. I see there is a crow in the nest. I’m afraid I might have scared it by staring for so long, but it hops onto the window sill. I want to give it something, but unfortunately I haven’t got anything to give it, so I just try to be friendly for a bit before saying goodbye.

We are outside now. There are three young men. One of them is holding a sword. It looks like part of an iron railing he has dismantled. He holds it up as if to threaten me. The other two men pick up similar wards, they start doing this one for all, all for one routine.

In France

I am on the continent, possibly France. Jenny LF is with. I have somewhere I have to go. There is a guy, with dark curly hair, a bit like the man off Top Gear (not Jeremy the other one). I have to walk across this very thin strip of land that joins two places very far apart, is made up of just sand. At a certain times is covered by the sea. I have got about half way. I’m not sure what’s there or why I have to be there.

I am walking back and I see a coach coming towards me. It is brown and picking up lots of sand. I don’t know which way to throw myself, then I decide I haven’t got time to get out of the way and throw myself on the ground hoping the wheels will miss me. But the coach is very low to the ground and my head gets hit by the underside (doesn’t really hurt though?). It stops before I have come out the other side. I wriggle free.

I carry on walking back and go and find Jenny LF, my mum is there too. Jenny had gone too but she started walking back sooner. The man with curly hair just stood and watched as the sea came in, throwing his arms in the air as if he wanted the sea to take him, it didn’t, and he was fine. The coach comes back and I confront the driver. He’s not very nice. He’s a big man, over weight, hairy, not very clever. I want to know why he didn’t stop. He says I should have moved out of the way. I say I didn’t have time to think. I tell I’m autistic, and that the part of my brain that makes decisions doesn’t work very well. I say it’s a bit like when a rabbit is caught in headlights, it loses it’s decision making function. He doesn’t say anything. I walk away, I think I had the upper hand there.

Me, Mum and Jenny are standing at the beginning of a street. There are old buildings on both sides of the street. They are in rows, right up against each other and varying different heights and sizes. They are all architecturally different and attractive. Some have shutters and some have balconies. It looks like a scene
from a painting by a famous French painter Lautrec. The street is badly made, it is just sand and dirt, there are lots of puddles. It is night, but the place is very busy still. The shops are open and people are out in the street. There is a girl standing in the street handing out leaflets. She looks very different to everybody else. She is just wearing grey jeans and a t-shirt, her hair is tied back in a ponytail. I think she is gay. She tries to hand me a leaflet, but my automatic response is to say no thank you and I walk away. She says ‘Ah, that’s sweet.’ Which is a strange thing to say because I don’t think I was very nice.

I am in a large hall the walls of which are panelled in a dark wood. It looks like an old building. There are people sitting at desks, around the side of the room stand soldiers in green uniforms with brass buttons and flat hats. They look foreign. The people sitting at the desks are clearly frightened. I think this is a dictatorship. I have come to see one of the women there. She has is also in some kind of green uniform, she has blond hair. I start talking to her, I am telling her about the coach business. She nods her head in the direction of one of the soldiers. I don’t think I am supposed to be telling her this. We both start talking in a pretend foreign language so they don’t understand what we are saying (only we don’t understand each other either!).

There is a woman, she has something to do with art, she looks like my old English teacher Miss Buckley. She isn’t one of us. There are a few others who are with me. We go into this room with her, we going to write or make something creative. I think Jenny LF is with me. We are making something together. It looks like a keyboard made out of paper. There are different pieces you can pull out. I think it is something to do with the strip of land we visited. We are explaining it to the woman. It’s something to do with geography and taking you somewhere. The woman turns into the black lady off escape to the country.

A New Life in a New Country

I am living somewhere different, either America/Australia/New Zealand, it is a residential area and all the houses are in blocks. They don’t look like English buildings, mostly bungalows. I am looking for a job. There aren’t many people living here, something has happened to make them leave.

I have found a job (not sure what), it is my second job here (not sure why I left my first). My Dad is here too, I think he is the one pushing me to get another job. This one is something to do with animals, either training or grooming or welfare. I told this man that I had the job when I hadn’t even had the interview yet. (Lucky I got it!).

A woman brings out a dog to me. I think this is my dog. It is a large grey dog. It has just had a hair cut and a shampoo and it’s wearing a red collar. (Same dog as I saw in one of my previous dreams). He looks very smart and is trying to behave appropriately?! I stroke him and he licks my face. The woman holding his lead tries to stop him.

I am at home. I decide to go to bed. It is a small room, with a double bed in it. This woman also sleeps there. I think she must be my partner. I have lots and lots of clothes (not expensive mind you). I have so many I hardly ever get round to wearing things twice.

I am driving down a road. There is a lot of urgency. There is a truck in front of me, I try over taking it on both sides but it won’t let me past. I’m driving very dangerously.

I am at some kind of fashion show. I still have a lot of fear of some kind of disaster. I’m watching the women go down the cat walk. There is loud music and lots of people in the audience. Everyone is clapping in time. It’s not a very glitzy or glamorous show. I am on the catwalk too, I hear the clapping stop and turn round to watch them. Two of the models (women), one white and one Chinese looking start doing a little routine on the cat walk.

The Might of the Church

I am sitting in a small but crowded room (looks a bit like the music room in my last dream). It is a church group. There are lots of chairs and I can see a podium. The seat next to me is empty, but the rows in front and behind me are full (I am sitting in the same place I sat the first time I went to the spiritualist church in Huntingdon). A woman comes a sits by me, she’s not very friendly. She is middle aged, short, wavy dark blond hair. She is wearing a long skirt and a black cardigan. She tells me it is my turn to do a reading. I say no way, no one told me I would have to do a reading. She tells me they’re all waiting. I ask her what the reading is. She says it is something out of John’s gospel. I’m trying to figure out how long it is, I don’t think it is very long, so I say okay. (Think I should have stuck to my guns there). I don’t actually do the reading, (maybe this part was a test to see how I would react to being asked to do something I don’t want to).

I am writing something for a competition. They take just a hundred words form what I’ve written and that’s what they base their decision on. I think I am in my Nan’s old house in Webster close. I can see myself at the table by the patio windows at the end of the lounge. My Mum and L. are there, they don’t like the words I am using. I am using long words and they want me to use short words. I have to do this work before they will let me go somewhere.

I see myself and another woman wrapped up warm in waterproof jackets. I think I might be in a Range Rover. Or in some sort of cabin. I think it is on my parents drive. I have to stay here till get it right. (Don’t know what I have to get - to follow what I want to do not what others want me to do? Which is what the rest of the dream seems to be focused on).

No One's Listening

Inside the house I am telling my family that I don’t want to come for Christmas. My Dad won’t take me seriously. He is patronising me and saying of course I will. I am stomping around in a white T-shirt (I have just got out of bed) trying to show them I’m angry and that they should take me seriously. My Dad tells me I have to start behaving (social etiquette and duty are more important to my dad than personal feelings). My Mum is there but she isn’t saying anything. My Dad is saying that I am just saying these things so I can get to see a psychiatrist. I am getting more upset because no one is listening to me.

We are in a shoe shop. My Dad is buying my brother C. some shoes. I think he is getting us all some shoes. These shoes my brother is trying on look like school shoes, they don’t look very grown up, they are black leather, and they have a luminous green catch on the front instead of laces. My Dad is telling my brother he has to be careful about what he says later. They still think I’m going.

Shady Dealings

Me and my sis L. are standing by the side of a house about to enter the back garden. I see a bird on a bush. It’s feathers are green and yellow and shiny. It has a polka dot pattern on it’s chest (my sister loved polka dots when she was a teenager). It is singing, I point it out to her but she says she can’t see it. It hops, closer, then it comes closer still and lands on my arm. She sees it then, but gives it a ‘death’ stare and it literally drops dead. I see the bush it was sitting in move, as if there is an animal inside it something is thrown out of the bush toward me. I catch it. It is prickly - I see it is a baby hedgehog. It is dead though. I check it over to see what happened. I look into one of it’s eyes, which is cloudy. I think it must have been blind. I spot a tiny round pellet just above its eye and I think this must have killed it.

In the back garden there are some fir trees which we go and stand under. She is holding this shopping list, and having a go at me about it. But she thinks it is a speech, she says I can’t go round saying these things. She keeps looking behind her. I think she has bought me here so no one will hear her have a go at me. She wants to tell me what I should say. She is telling me also that I have to go to this thing I don’t want to, that I have to do what they want.